hellodeer

i waste gas. drive from city to city. trying to stay away.

from home.

i look at all these numbnut couples. just staring straight ahead in their cars.

big cars. cars so big even my dad gets upset.

the closest of these couples is in fact having a nervous breakdown.
"i never in my wildest imagination thought it would be this way"
and all he wants to do is change a career.

but you see, when you strive for numbnut. change of career really screws up the entire thing, now doesn't it?

a kid got a haircut after i avoided him for a few days. maybe a week. the haircut looks like an upside down top-spin.

a woman spotted me in fairfax on the street. "i know you" she said. and i asked her name one more time, even though i remember the last time i saw her i asked her the same fucking thing. no good at names am i. "lisa" she says. and we update each other and move on. i mean, she was with her family of course. heaven forbid they be left behind.

i looked at the movie theatre. "huh. i've seen every god damned movie! my god!".

i read about a woman going to an ashram. i want more from her tho. the author. the author of "Eat Pray Love". she can be sarcastic (Check) and witty (check) and blah (check). but overall, i want more. congrats to her though for writing a book that will most likely pay for an apt. on the upper west. whew. thats done. now what?

i drive. city to city. i am a gas waster. i think about going to sausalito. to shoot pool by myself. i think about going to the mayflower. to drink a pint by myself. instead i get a salad, and content as a bee in a hive - people watch on a friday night.

too many people are getting pulled over these days for drunk driving. i don't need to be one of them. thats the reality of living in a place where you drive to your drink.

my mom is texting. she wants to know why i text "is your dream job to be a cake decorator?" she said "it used to be, but now i want to be retired." 2 hours later, she is obviously bothered by my question. so i text back "just curious."