reflect

new york was wow. my visit. it was like a dream? kind of. it went by so fast. i loved that it rained.

i've missed thunderstorms. like missed them with my heart. a lot of things happened and didn't happen with my heart during my new york visit.

new york visit. brooklyn clouds. rye evenings. feet pains. photo snaps.

this picture above is me the morning after kats wedding. i woke around 7am. layed in sweat on a foreign bed. layed there until i willed myself to stand. it was so humid and sweaty on the west side, that i said to myself: "it will be cooler on a subway car". so i got up, wrote a note to mary, and left.

on my way out of the building - i caught a glimpse of the colors. so primary. so political. so city. so painful. so new. willed myself to take a picture. camera face. my eyes are cameras. my face is a camera.

it was so hot on the subway platform. standing there. hot. i didn't move. i stood. and water molecules formed small communities on my flesh. and then they went traveling through the fibers of my clothes.

and then blast! of cold air on the red line. blast of cold air. water evaporates. blast. 42nd street exit - hot. water back. water butt. water forehead. bored waiting for gray shuttle. bored. get money out of minor account. bored take out the most money this card will let me take out. deliriously - making bad choices. bored making bad choices. i now have a wallet full of cash. i buy a bright garish aquamarine colored i love new york tshirt. i look at the subway coffee mugs. i want one.

and then my subway shows up. i get on. and there is an angry man, asking for money. he says something in swahili to the man next to me. and then he yells to the man as we all exit "STOP BEING SO JUDGEMENTAL".

in a fog i get on my next train. in a fog mona picks me up from the station. in a fog i, battle-worn, go to sleep in cool air, big bed, for 7 hours.