favorite parts of into the wild -
some people feel like, they don't deserve love.
they walk away quietly, into empty spaces,
trying to close the gaps of the past.
the seas only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionaly the chance to feel strong.
when you forgive - you love.
and when you love - gods light shines down on you.
thoreau quote - "rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth."
they walk away quietly, into empty spaces,
trying to close the gaps of the past.
the seas only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionaly the chance to feel strong.
when you forgive - you love.
and when you love - gods light shines down on you.
thoreau quote - "rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth."
bike history
my first bike was a bike that my mother rode when she was a kid. it was given to me at christmas one year. my grandfather (her father) painted it purple for me, and fixed it up. i loved it for about a year, and then it was more of an embarrassment. it was so old and creaky and wasn't fast & flashy like everyone else's bikes. the bike was cool - but i was caught up in the bmx thing.
then i was given a bmx bike. it was fun for trails and kid things.
my next bike was a black huffy 10-speed with pink graphics. i loved this bike, and it lasted me through high school. with this bike i gained a bit of freedom from the house. my parents let me bike all around town & to friends houses, etc. it was GREAT.
the first bike i purchased was a shitty raleigh mtn bike. it was 1994, and i was obsessed with BIKE magazine and needed a mtn. bike. surprisingly we and had limited options in my small town in alaska. anywya, i didn't really every love that bike - it weighed a ton, and it was all the wrong colors. i left it at home for my brothers when i went to college. amen.
the second bike i purchased was my gary fisher kai tai. medium matte gray finish. i loved everything about my bike. it went everywhere with me. i was telling friends last night about the states that bike had been in, and i was just sitting here, thinking about it again, and realized that i left a few states out. here, i would like to document the life & times of my 1996 kai tai.
colorado - purchased & ridden.
idaho - college bike - ridden on many trails near idaho falls
alaska - shipping my bike home - ridden to work & various grueling trails*.
new york - shipped bike to ny. lived with me there for 10 years. college bike, commuter bike, etc.
massachusetts - nantucket - marthas vineyard. i actually purchased a basket for the bike in nantucket. it was great.
michighan - taken on a various trip to michigan. biked some roads with rich & miles.
connecticut - biked through lower connecticut - near my college
california - shipped it out here to be with me. the shop owners laughed when i took it in to get re-assembled. at this point the bike was 10 years old. they thought i was foolish for spending money on shipping.
last night i was about to give this bike away. i almost started crying. luckily the tire was busted, something i hadn't noticed until the new potential owner pointed it out, and in turn, refused the bike. so, all is well with the world, and i still have my kai tai. whew.
current bike: stella - my 2nd road bike, 1st road bike purchase.
1982 Trek - made in waterloo wisconsin - steel gray/silver
california - purchased 2008
oregon - biked around oregon.
this is the bike i'd hope to ride across country some day. its rad, and i've already put a zillion bay area miles on this beauty.
*please note - trails in alaska are absolutely grueling. untouchable. they simply haven't been maintained by the cute crews that other states have. its too wild of a wilderness to tame.
then i was given a bmx bike. it was fun for trails and kid things.
my next bike was a black huffy 10-speed with pink graphics. i loved this bike, and it lasted me through high school. with this bike i gained a bit of freedom from the house. my parents let me bike all around town & to friends houses, etc. it was GREAT.
the first bike i purchased was a shitty raleigh mtn bike. it was 1994, and i was obsessed with BIKE magazine and needed a mtn. bike. surprisingly we and had limited options in my small town in alaska. anywya, i didn't really every love that bike - it weighed a ton, and it was all the wrong colors. i left it at home for my brothers when i went to college. amen.
the second bike i purchased was my gary fisher kai tai. medium matte gray finish. i loved everything about my bike. it went everywhere with me. i was telling friends last night about the states that bike had been in, and i was just sitting here, thinking about it again, and realized that i left a few states out. here, i would like to document the life & times of my 1996 kai tai.
colorado - purchased & ridden.
idaho - college bike - ridden on many trails near idaho falls
alaska - shipping my bike home - ridden to work & various grueling trails*.
new york - shipped bike to ny. lived with me there for 10 years. college bike, commuter bike, etc.
massachusetts - nantucket - marthas vineyard. i actually purchased a basket for the bike in nantucket. it was great.
michighan - taken on a various trip to michigan. biked some roads with rich & miles.
connecticut - biked through lower connecticut - near my college
california - shipped it out here to be with me. the shop owners laughed when i took it in to get re-assembled. at this point the bike was 10 years old. they thought i was foolish for spending money on shipping.
last night i was about to give this bike away. i almost started crying. luckily the tire was busted, something i hadn't noticed until the new potential owner pointed it out, and in turn, refused the bike. so, all is well with the world, and i still have my kai tai. whew.
current bike: stella - my 2nd road bike, 1st road bike purchase.
1982 Trek - made in waterloo wisconsin - steel gray/silver
california - purchased 2008
oregon - biked around oregon.
this is the bike i'd hope to ride across country some day. its rad, and i've already put a zillion bay area miles on this beauty.
*please note - trails in alaska are absolutely grueling. untouchable. they simply haven't been maintained by the cute crews that other states have. its too wild of a wilderness to tame.
if i was an underground graffitti artist,
these would be my tags:
(possibly a little cliche... this would be last resort.)
i'd change this to a man & a woman falling.
obvious
my favorite.
(possibly a little cliche... this would be last resort.)
i'd change this to a man & a woman falling.
obvious
my favorite.
atoms for peace - thom yorke
this past weekend is this song. i started playing it friday, and just listened to it 3 more times on the way to work this morning, so i'm dubbing it the song of the weekend. in my opinion, this song is so spring to me - like, in a "spring cleaning" way - clean out your closets - and get out there and start something new. easy as pie.
No more going to the dark side
With your flying saucer eyes
No more falling down a wormhole
That I have to pull you out
The wriggling, twiggling worm inside
Devours from the inside out
No more talk about the old days
It's time for something great
Want you to get out
And make it work
So many allies, so many allies
So many allies, so many allies
So feel the love come off of them
And take me in your arms
Peel all of your layers off
I want to eat your artichoke heart
No more leaky holes in your brain
And no false starts
I wanna get out
And make it work
So many allies, so many allies
So many allies, so many allies
So feel the love come off of them
And take me in your arms
I wanna get out
And make it work
Want you to get out
And make it work
I'll be ok
No more going to the dark side
With your flying saucer eyes
No more falling down a wormhole
That I have to pull you out
The wriggling, twiggling worm inside
Devours from the inside out
No more talk about the old days
It's time for something great
Want you to get out
And make it work
So many allies, so many allies
So many allies, so many allies
So feel the love come off of them
And take me in your arms
Peel all of your layers off
I want to eat your artichoke heart
No more leaky holes in your brain
And no false starts
I wanna get out
And make it work
So many allies, so many allies
So many allies, so many allies
So feel the love come off of them
And take me in your arms
I wanna get out
And make it work
Want you to get out
And make it work
I'll be ok
you can see by deerhoof
Your legs don't work and you're caught in the light.
You can see through the walls so nothing is right.
There's a man in the cellar next door
And he's scratching the floor fifty miles away.
You didn't know him till today.
You're walking home and your heart has been drained.
But you're eyes have been newly trained.
And the roof is invisible now,
It's incredible how you were ever blind.
Now you will always find
Rooms are connected,
Eyes are perfected,
Hey now now hey now now you can see.
Something you shouldn't be ,
Something suddenly free,
What will happen now?
If the eyes are too strong,
The horizon's too long.
I can see I can see,
But mama says it's wrong.
In the night I'll lose it.
It's not right but I'll use it.
I can see I can see.
As my lungs fill with air,
The whole world is laid bare,
What will happen to me?
The warning says you can see
You will forever riddle.
You can see through the walls so nothing is right.
There's a man in the cellar next door
And he's scratching the floor fifty miles away.
You didn't know him till today.
You're walking home and your heart has been drained.
But you're eyes have been newly trained.
And the roof is invisible now,
It's incredible how you were ever blind.
Now you will always find
Rooms are connected,
Eyes are perfected,
Hey now now hey now now you can see.
Something you shouldn't be ,
Something suddenly free,
What will happen now?
If the eyes are too strong,
The horizon's too long.
I can see I can see,
But mama says it's wrong.
In the night I'll lose it.
It's not right but I'll use it.
I can see I can see.
As my lungs fill with air,
The whole world is laid bare,
What will happen to me?
The warning says you can see
You will forever riddle.
exclaim
sometimes, when i am out in nature, i mean the real thick of it, i like exclaim things.
ITS SUNDAY! THANK YOU FOR SUNDAY!
walk walk walk
climb to the top of a rock
puff out my chest
I AM HERE! BREATH IN. BREATH OUT!! THANK YOU FOR THIS DAY!
veeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy cheesy i know.
at any rate, i got to do this today, and i reminded me how much i enjoy doing this. it really helps you hone right in on the heart of things, clear your head, and get back to work.
ITS SUNDAY! THANK YOU FOR SUNDAY!
walk walk walk
climb to the top of a rock
puff out my chest
I AM HERE! BREATH IN. BREATH OUT!! THANK YOU FOR THIS DAY!
veeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy cheesy i know.
at any rate, i got to do this today, and i reminded me how much i enjoy doing this. it really helps you hone right in on the heart of things, clear your head, and get back to work.
cascade canyon
slowly walking balancing talking
yellow darkpurple red limegreen
water bridge stones stories
naturalists endowments bathing
talking sitting wading
laying posing exclaiming
light dark shadows
hike is here.
yellow darkpurple red limegreen
water bridge stones stories
naturalists endowments bathing
talking sitting wading
laying posing exclaiming
light dark shadows
hike is here.
somethings in the water these days
getting coffee this morning at united, i met eyes with GORGEOUS older man. it was EXHILIRATING.
when he was standing next to me i froze. and then had to tell myself to CHILL.
after getting my coffee, he wished me a great day and i wished him one back and he was all THANKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.................
it was the hottest way to start my day. holy shit its been a great week so far.
so i have no apprehension in saying that spring is here people. LOVE IS IN THE AIR! ENJOY.
birthday wishlist
like totally sick.
ipod case from the company that made my 1st ipod case 8 years ago. i think i want that coral/orange color.
camo pants 4 the weekends rolled up with dress shoes, worn-out shirt & jean jacket? i have a vision people.
red monkey camera strap. havent decided the color yet.
point reyes hoops @ gravel & gold
maryam nassir zadeh
morning after
i am hot mess today. it happens. last night was a really fun photoshoot in the city and so a lot of fun ensued. and then a whole bunch of fun things later, and 1 morning after, i was sitting in my car praising mr. white YET AGAIN, for saying it best in "i'm bound to pack it up" :
i've thought about it for a while
and i've thought about the many miles
but i think it's time that i'm going away
the feelings that you've had for me
have gone away, it's plain to see
and it looks to me that your pulling away
i'm gonna pick it up
i'm gonna pick it up today
i'm bound to pack it up
i'm bound to pack it up and go away
i find it hard to say to you
that this is what i have to do
but there is no way that i'm gonna stay
there's so many things you need to know
and i want to tell you before i go
but its hard to think of just what to say
i'm gonna pick it up
i'm gonna pick it up today
i'm bound to pack it up
i'm bound to pack it up and go away
i'm sorry to leave you all alone
you're sitting silent by the phone
but we've always known there would come a day
the bus is warm and softly lit
and a hundred people ride on it
i guess i'm just another running away
i'm gonna pick it up
i'm gonna pick it up today
i'm bound to pack it up
i'm bound to pack it up and go away
oh yeah-ah-yeah
i've thought about it for a while
and i've thought about the many miles
but i think it's time that i'm going away
the feelings that you've had for me
have gone away, it's plain to see
and it looks to me that your pulling away
i'm gonna pick it up
i'm gonna pick it up today
i'm bound to pack it up
i'm bound to pack it up and go away
i find it hard to say to you
that this is what i have to do
but there is no way that i'm gonna stay
there's so many things you need to know
and i want to tell you before i go
but its hard to think of just what to say
i'm gonna pick it up
i'm gonna pick it up today
i'm bound to pack it up
i'm bound to pack it up and go away
i'm sorry to leave you all alone
you're sitting silent by the phone
but we've always known there would come a day
the bus is warm and softly lit
and a hundred people ride on it
i guess i'm just another running away
i'm gonna pick it up
i'm gonna pick it up today
i'm bound to pack it up
i'm bound to pack it up and go away
oh yeah-ah-yeah
ginolina & dean-o
I was so high on food & drink last night after leaving Bistro Ginolina on B Street in San Rafael!
I like to go to restaurants, knowing the dish I want, walk in, and say "i came here for _______" and then i get ________. So last night, I was trolling Marin for MUSSELS. mmmmmmmmmmm. What a dream to have a french place in Marin that serves all you can eat Moulles Y Frites, RIGHT?? not happening. So anyway, in I walked to Ginolina. Immediately the owner grabs my hand, and gives it a kiss. I tell him I want MUSSELS and i told him I wanted to sit in the corner and he was SHOCKED that i was by myself. i of course, was not shocked, and was actually a little TICKLED to be so.
1 ferrari fume glass & 28 mussels later, i had licked the platter clean (using the table bread).
elation. skipping. spinning.
light years away from electronics.
it made me think about my summer in italy.
wine oozing out of my pores
friends free. walking cobblestone. love.
basics - tomatoes! lemons! olive oil.
fruitti di regazzi.
oh - back to sitting there, on a wednesday night in san rafael.
i was offered cafe, and espresso, tiramisu, blah blah.
i waltzed back to my miata.
what does miata mean? for a japanese company, it sure does sound italian!
miata - Make. It. A. Topless. Afternoon.
once i got into my car, all i wanted to do was BELT dean martin.
i recently watched the movie MOSTLY MARTHA - it was delightful. there is a scene where the man in the kitchen says of dean martin's voice "he really puts feeling into it" or something like that. i totally agreed with the comment, and thought i'd round out that whole sequence by having my own special dean-o moment.
so the end of my story is me, dean-o, the miata, and a belly full of mussels rolling home so happy and skippy, feeling life is back in order.
I like to go to restaurants, knowing the dish I want, walk in, and say "i came here for _______" and then i get ________. So last night, I was trolling Marin for MUSSELS. mmmmmmmmmmm. What a dream to have a french place in Marin that serves all you can eat Moulles Y Frites, RIGHT?? not happening. So anyway, in I walked to Ginolina. Immediately the owner grabs my hand, and gives it a kiss. I tell him I want MUSSELS and i told him I wanted to sit in the corner and he was SHOCKED that i was by myself. i of course, was not shocked, and was actually a little TICKLED to be so.
1 ferrari fume glass & 28 mussels later, i had licked the platter clean (using the table bread).
elation. skipping. spinning.
light years away from electronics.
it made me think about my summer in italy.
wine oozing out of my pores
friends free. walking cobblestone. love.
basics - tomatoes! lemons! olive oil.
fruitti di regazzi.
oh - back to sitting there, on a wednesday night in san rafael.
i was offered cafe, and espresso, tiramisu, blah blah.
i waltzed back to my miata.
what does miata mean? for a japanese company, it sure does sound italian!
miata - Make. It. A. Topless. Afternoon.
once i got into my car, all i wanted to do was BELT dean martin.
i recently watched the movie MOSTLY MARTHA - it was delightful. there is a scene where the man in the kitchen says of dean martin's voice "he really puts feeling into it" or something like that. i totally agreed with the comment, and thought i'd round out that whole sequence by having my own special dean-o moment.
so the end of my story is me, dean-o, the miata, and a belly full of mussels rolling home so happy and skippy, feeling life is back in order.
miata top & men
i've typed it before, i'll type it again - i really love working with men. they are all so individually attentive.
i have a miata with a rear window that works like a flap - it can zip up on rainy days, and i keep it zipped down on cold, dry days when its too cold for top down, but too sunny for zip up. make sense?
every time it is zipped down, a different male coworker approaches me during the day to ask me if my miata top is OK. i explain that everything is normal, etc.
i have had the miata about 6 months now, and honestly can tell you that every man in this dealership knows about my miata top, because they approached me and asked me about it.
none of the women even notice. and the gay guy doesn't count. i love men.
i have a miata with a rear window that works like a flap - it can zip up on rainy days, and i keep it zipped down on cold, dry days when its too cold for top down, but too sunny for zip up. make sense?
every time it is zipped down, a different male coworker approaches me during the day to ask me if my miata top is OK. i explain that everything is normal, etc.
i have had the miata about 6 months now, and honestly can tell you that every man in this dealership knows about my miata top, because they approached me and asked me about it.
none of the women even notice. and the gay guy doesn't count. i love men.
freaks&geeks
i just finished watching the tv show freaks & geeks.
1. my little brother geo was told to watch the show also, and i think its funny that we both discovered the show at the exact same time.
2. characters in order of which i liked them starting with my favorite:
the little brother
lindsay
bill
high school counsellor
millie
kim
lindsay's parents
3. my favorite part of the show, or the part that i identify with the most was a conversation between lindsay & millie. they are discussing why lindsay is hanging out with the "freaks". lindsay's response is typical lindsay - she shrugs and says idunno, and then she reflects on the crowd, and says "you know, they don't really inspire me." i feel that way OFTEN. i mean, who doesn't like a little inspiration. right? so i've been thinking about that and thinking about that, and now its carrying into my life and i'm working on hanging out more with people that INSPIRE me. or doing things that INSPIRE me. i'm pretty sure thats some kind of key to something.
and thats what i got out of freaks & geeks.
1. my little brother geo was told to watch the show also, and i think its funny that we both discovered the show at the exact same time.
2. characters in order of which i liked them starting with my favorite:
the little brother
lindsay
bill
high school counsellor
millie
kim
lindsay's parents
3. my favorite part of the show, or the part that i identify with the most was a conversation between lindsay & millie. they are discussing why lindsay is hanging out with the "freaks". lindsay's response is typical lindsay - she shrugs and says idunno, and then she reflects on the crowd, and says "you know, they don't really inspire me." i feel that way OFTEN. i mean, who doesn't like a little inspiration. right? so i've been thinking about that and thinking about that, and now its carrying into my life and i'm working on hanging out more with people that INSPIRE me. or doing things that INSPIRE me. i'm pretty sure thats some kind of key to something.
and thats what i got out of freaks & geeks.
breaking upwards
this is sweet & interesting. i think i'm more into trailers these days.
Breaking Upwards Movie Trailer from Breaking Upwards on Vimeo.
sunday supper
well. did you know that there is a website called bon appetempt, where they attempt (and consume) bon appetit recipes? so fun.
so i attempted to tackle the column "sunday suppers" in bon appetit's april 2010 issue. i was debating between this, and a yummy-looking kale lasagne in the issue, but after reading the editors note about her memories of sunday suppers with her family, i was swayed.
The recipe was Chipotle Roast Chicken Tacos.
with Poblano Potatoe & Corn Gratin:
new-to-me trick - sliding my hands in-between the breast & skin of the chicken. i was nervous at first, but my brother walked me through.
other thing i havent quite mastered - gravy. my roommate walked me through that one.
overall thoughts:
this meal was a little heavy for my standards. The gravy was greasy, and I would have made the gratin with a lighter cream base; -maybe a ricotta cheese instead of mozarella. i would probably not add this recipe to the rotation of meals, but it sure was fun to make! and most importantly, it sure was fun to entertain & make other people happy. i am curious to see what they have in store for the reader in next months "sunday suppers" column.
before&after:
so i attempted to tackle the column "sunday suppers" in bon appetit's april 2010 issue. i was debating between this, and a yummy-looking kale lasagne in the issue, but after reading the editors note about her memories of sunday suppers with her family, i was swayed.
The recipe was Chipotle Roast Chicken Tacos.
with Poblano Potatoe & Corn Gratin:
new-to-me trick - sliding my hands in-between the breast & skin of the chicken. i was nervous at first, but my brother walked me through.
other thing i havent quite mastered - gravy. my roommate walked me through that one.
overall thoughts:
this meal was a little heavy for my standards. The gravy was greasy, and I would have made the gratin with a lighter cream base; -maybe a ricotta cheese instead of mozarella. i would probably not add this recipe to the rotation of meals, but it sure was fun to make! and most importantly, it sure was fun to entertain & make other people happy. i am curious to see what they have in store for the reader in next months "sunday suppers" column.
before&after:
going green
i'm a little bit happy about it raining all week. i want the hills to stay green as long as possible. i am not quite ready to let that go. its such a treat when they are green. sure, the golden hills are nice too, but the green hills are........ special. alive. fruitful? vibrant. wet. bright. and well, GREEN.
DoItAgain- QOTSA
I fall over and over and over over, oh, I want you
I get in, I get in, I get in, you're the only one I'm into
You and me
Fit so tight
I go lower and lower and lower lower livin easy
I don't know, I don't know how long I got till it's over
You and me
Fit so tight
Can you do it again
Do it again
Do it again
Can you do it again
All the way, all the way, all the way, there's no where left we can be
I'm into what you do but I lead you nowhere
You and me
Fit so tight
All we need
Is one more time
Can you do it again
Do it again
Do it again
Can you do it again
Only get to live one life
Won't pretend you're only mine
Where will you go when we all fall away
So do it again
Do it again
tinyfurniture
there are parts of this that look painful and amazing. i'm looking forward to seeing this.
Tiny Furniture Trailer from Lena Dunham on Vimeo.
a way to test psychics
make a pact with your lover that whomever dies first, finds a medium, and tells them the secret password or poem, and has the medium repeat it back to you.
this is the most perfect way to test psychic powers.
plus, it would be so romantic picking out the message or poem to memorize together, right?
this is the most perfect way to test psychic powers.
plus, it would be so romantic picking out the message or poem to memorize together, right?
torn curtain
this hitchcock was quite possibly in the top 5 for me. i loved the relationship. i did have a problem with julie andrews in the roll, but it really wasn't that big of a problem.
favorite scene - green room - position of bodies - looked like a sketch.
favorite sound scene - being followed in the museum scene.
favorite scene - green room - position of bodies - looked like a sketch.
favorite sound scene - being followed in the museum scene.
marnie
after asking marnie to the horse tracks:
marnie: do you like horses?
sean connery: not at all.
marnie: do you like horses?
sean connery: not at all.
fashionable weekend paris edition
Friday - work is hosting a Bach event that goes into the evening.
Saturday morning coffee & stop by Canal to pick up bag of oranges from your guy Francisco.
Kyuss reunion at the Independent.
Watering flowers, making french toast Sunday AM.
Farmers Market @ Civic Center
Salon to get hair & nails done for Oscar Party.
Oscar Night @ the Rafael
Monday Morning - back to the grind.
Car in The Birds
_07.jpg)
well in my quest to watch every hitchcock in sequential order, i am finally at THE BIRDS. comment? awesome! gory! cool car! i love tippy hedron's lips! tippy hedron kind of looks like paris hilton, no?
the car melanie* drives is an Aston Martin DB2 - drop head coupe. The car was unfortunately TOTALLED, so no longer exists i guess. what a shame.
*tippy hedron plays melanie. tippy hedron is melanie griffiths mother. interesting fact, no?
new continuing dream
i'm pretty sure this is the 2nd time i've had this dream.
i'm hanging out with trailer trash friends. we are all drinking. someone in the group dies - i happen to be there. there is a guy and a girl and they both decide to hide the body in a closet in the house where we are partying. the house belongs to an old boss of mine who harbors ill-will towards me.
this happens a second time, but this time they take the body to the water and bury it at sea - with no one knowing.
one day, i was hanging out at the house, and look up, and see the first body, still rotting in the closet. i feel all of this horror and guilt, and try to get the people back to the house to remove the first body. i wake up before the dream is resolved.
this dream could mean a lot of different things. the main part of it being the same thing that my other re-occuring dream meant - hiding something. i wonder what i am hiding tho? last weekend i told my 2 deepest darkest secrets to mia, and i'm fine with them. i don't harbor them as evil anymore. so i wonder what this is all about.
i'm hanging out with trailer trash friends. we are all drinking. someone in the group dies - i happen to be there. there is a guy and a girl and they both decide to hide the body in a closet in the house where we are partying. the house belongs to an old boss of mine who harbors ill-will towards me.
this happens a second time, but this time they take the body to the water and bury it at sea - with no one knowing.
one day, i was hanging out at the house, and look up, and see the first body, still rotting in the closet. i feel all of this horror and guilt, and try to get the people back to the house to remove the first body. i wake up before the dream is resolved.
this dream could mean a lot of different things. the main part of it being the same thing that my other re-occuring dream meant - hiding something. i wonder what i am hiding tho? last weekend i told my 2 deepest darkest secrets to mia, and i'm fine with them. i don't harbor them as evil anymore. so i wonder what this is all about.
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