thanksgiving
turkey bird morning
google wings pumpkin
spilling mess sponge
oven bed lounge
peets miata music
cleaning dressing dancing
drinking smoking drinking
eat knosh nibble
nibble knosh eat
drink smoke smile
watch lounge nibble
talk plan scope
eat nosh nibble
scoop slice dollop
vertigo
last night i changed my room around, and to celebrate, watched vertigo for the first time.
it was so nice, that i decided to spend the winter in my room, watching alfred hitchcock movies in the order in which they were made.
it didn't make any sense that scotty would fall in love with madeline/judy.
this is a cool site that helped break it down for me.
color symbolism in vertigo
i connected most with the midge character. i like midge. and i like that name.
love game
its funny how the beginning of the love game is all about restraint. well, at least when you are playing games. i'm trying to open myself and make it more about just love. instead of the game.
the game makes it fun. the game makes it fun? well, the game makes it prolonged. which is nice. but how long is prolonged? i'm over the game. i'm ready to dive in and just love already.
snapped
he kind of snapped at me today. he told me something that he doesnt remember telling me, and i brought it up, and now i have him asking me "did i tell you that?"
it makes me feel this big. ()
and it also makes me totally not want to be around him. which is actually a good thing, because...... apparently he is a douchey non-remembering drunk.
and there you have it.
it makes me feel this big. ()
and it also makes me totally not want to be around him. which is actually a good thing, because...... apparently he is a douchey non-remembering drunk.
and there you have it.
"be here now" type shit
its all about the "be here now" type shit.
i find myself saying that a lot.
you are typing
you are reading
you are eating a burrito
you are burning cds
you are there. and there. and there. and here.
you are now.
breathe in. breathe out a couple beats longer than the in.
breathe out. and out and out until you can no longer breathe out!!! whew. ok. breathe in.
be here now type shit.
i find myself saying that a lot.
you are typing
you are reading
you are eating a burrito
you are burning cds
you are there. and there. and there. and here.
you are now.
breathe in. breathe out a couple beats longer than the in.
breathe out. and out and out until you can no longer breathe out!!! whew. ok. breathe in.
be here now type shit.
this in that. that in this
today? very productive.
i've had a few ideas just floating around in my head. i sleep on them, i spin on them, i eat on them, i zone out on them.
finally i wrote them down!
so they are not in full process.
main goal for the next year? TO BE PUBLISHED.
i will be published. photographically speaking, of course.
second main ongoing goal? TO HAVE A GALLERY SHOW.
i will have a gallery show. photographically speaking, of course.
other than that, i've been filling my time with burning all of my music onto my hard drive.
sounds hot?
it is really hot.
i've had a few ideas just floating around in my head. i sleep on them, i spin on them, i eat on them, i zone out on them.
finally i wrote them down!
so they are not in full process.
main goal for the next year? TO BE PUBLISHED.
i will be published. photographically speaking, of course.
second main ongoing goal? TO HAVE A GALLERY SHOW.
i will have a gallery show. photographically speaking, of course.
other than that, i've been filling my time with burning all of my music onto my hard drive.
sounds hot?
it is really hot.
mtg
a 10yr old kid walked by me at work, carrying a plate of cookies.
where are you going with those cookies?
to the meeting downstairs about how to deal with my feelings of hate.
oh. ok.
where are you going with those cookies?
to the meeting downstairs about how to deal with my feelings of hate.
oh. ok.
look forward to
he went silent.
its ok its ok its ok. its just one of those things!
new haircut - short bob
i'm getting more side-jobs.
spin class rocks
my dog is now ten.
dot. the drop-top baby.
i've been thinking about this hippie lately. inbetween boughts of thinking about the dude of course.
its ok its ok its ok. its just one of those things!
new haircut - short bob
i'm getting more side-jobs.
spin class rocks
my dog is now ten.
dot. the drop-top baby.
i've been thinking about this hippie lately. inbetween boughts of thinking about the dude of course.
fathersceneinthewrestler
i balled my eyes out during this scene. shamelessly. in the movie theatre. i love asbury park and i loved it when he called her is girl. i just watched it on demand this weekend, and pressed rewind about 10 times.
madmen
yesterday i was obsessed with Man Men, and watched the entire 1st season.
Today, i am obsessed with early 60's advertising & design.
this vw bug ad is where its at.
Today, i am obsessed with early 60's advertising & design.
this vw bug ad is where its at.
anie&sean
got married today. it was a very sweet ceremony of about 5 people. anie read sean the sweetest poem by bill collins called Litany. it goes like this:
Litany
by Billy Collins
You are the bread and the knife,
The crystal goblet and the wine...
—Jacques Crickillon
You are the bread and the knife,
the crystal goblet and the wine.
You are the dew on the morning grass
and the burning wheel of the sun.
You are the white apron of the baker,
and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.
However, you are not the wind in the orchard,
the plums on the counter,
or the house of cards.
And you are certainly not the pine-scented air.
There is just no way that you are the pine-scented air.
It is possible that you are the fish under the bridge,
maybe even the pigeon on the general's head,
but you are not even close
to being the field of cornflowers at dusk.
And a quick look in the mirror will show
that you are neither the boots in the corner
nor the boat asleep in its boathouse.
It might interest you to know,
speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world,
that I am the sound of rain on the roof.
I also happen to be the shooting star,
the evening paper blowing down an alley
and the basket of chestnuts on the kitchen table.
I am also the moon in the trees
and the blind woman's tea cup.
But don't worry, I'm not the bread and the knife.
You are still the bread and the knife.
You will always be the bread and the knife,
not to mention the crystal goblet and—somehow—the wine.
barefoot
andy rooney just said "and of all the things I miss, I don't go barefoot in the summer anymore."
Makes me think about how my childhood doctor - dr. Russell - once told my mom that if my feet had a tendency to be sweaty - then i should just not wear shoes.
so i didn't any chance i got, i'd be barefoot. well into high school, i'd get home, take off my shoes, and walk to my friends houses... barefoot. other mothers would gasp - telling me to go home and put on my shoes. i would just reply "doctors orders".
i miss those simple solutions and explanations. just kind of like a small miss. a random miss. like something i may tell my grandchildren some day.
Makes me think about how my childhood doctor - dr. Russell - once told my mom that if my feet had a tendency to be sweaty - then i should just not wear shoes.
so i didn't any chance i got, i'd be barefoot. well into high school, i'd get home, take off my shoes, and walk to my friends houses... barefoot. other mothers would gasp - telling me to go home and put on my shoes. i would just reply "doctors orders".
i miss those simple solutions and explanations. just kind of like a small miss. a random miss. like something i may tell my grandchildren some day.
Dont Do That by Stephen Dunn
i met him once. but i cant really remember how or when or why......
It was bring-your-own if you wanted anything; Whiskey; Bottles; Johnnie Walker Red; Parties; Drinking; Dogs It was bring-your-own if you wanted anything
hard, so I brought Johnnie Walker Red
along with some resentment I’d held in
for a few weeks, which was not helped
by the sight of little nameless things
pierced with toothpicks on the tables,
or by talk that promised to be nothing
if not small. But I’d consented to come,
and I knew what part of the house
their animals would be sequestered,
whose company I loved. What else can I say,
except that old retainer of slights and wrongs,
that bad boy I hadn’t quite outgrown—
I’d brought him along, too. I was out
to cultivate a mood. My hosts greeted me,
but did not ask about my soul, which was when
I was invited by Johnnie Walker Red
to find the right kind of glass, and pour.
I toasted the air. I said hello to the wall,
then walked past a group of women
dressed to be seen, undressing them
one by one, and went up the stairs to where
the Rottweilers were, Rosie and Tom,
and got down with them on all fours.
They licked the face I offered them,
and I proceeded to slick back my hair
with their saliva, and before long
I felt like a wild thing, ready to mess up
the party, scarf the hors d’oeuvres.
But the dogs said, No, don’t do that,
calm down, after a while they open the door
and let you out, they pet your head, and everything
you might have held against them is gone,
and you’re good friends again. Stay, they said.
It was bring-your-own if you wanted anything; Whiskey; Bottles; Johnnie Walker Red; Parties; Drinking; Dogs It was bring-your-own if you wanted anything
hard, so I brought Johnnie Walker Red
along with some resentment I’d held in
for a few weeks, which was not helped
by the sight of little nameless things
pierced with toothpicks on the tables,
or by talk that promised to be nothing
if not small. But I’d consented to come,
and I knew what part of the house
their animals would be sequestered,
whose company I loved. What else can I say,
except that old retainer of slights and wrongs,
that bad boy I hadn’t quite outgrown—
I’d brought him along, too. I was out
to cultivate a mood. My hosts greeted me,
but did not ask about my soul, which was when
I was invited by Johnnie Walker Red
to find the right kind of glass, and pour.
I toasted the air. I said hello to the wall,
then walked past a group of women
dressed to be seen, undressing them
one by one, and went up the stairs to where
the Rottweilers were, Rosie and Tom,
and got down with them on all fours.
They licked the face I offered them,
and I proceeded to slick back my hair
with their saliva, and before long
I felt like a wild thing, ready to mess up
the party, scarf the hors d’oeuvres.
But the dogs said, No, don’t do that,
calm down, after a while they open the door
and let you out, they pet your head, and everything
you might have held against them is gone,
and you’re good friends again. Stay, they said.
can'tsleep
when you have insomnia, it really is like being stuck with yourself. like in a small prison. you are already with yourself all day - its nice to look forward to the night "break" where you can escape to dreamworld. fantasy. easy. black. light. sleep. awake.
anyway, laying there at 3am trying to stay happy because its the start of a new day, but trying to get back to sleep because you are not yet ready to start said new day........
thats what insomnia is like. ladeedah like. hohumlike. puzzling.
anyway, laying there at 3am trying to stay happy because its the start of a new day, but trying to get back to sleep because you are not yet ready to start said new day........
thats what insomnia is like. ladeedah like. hohumlike. puzzling.
31
party dance dance party
reflect sit focus
photo learn drive picture
reflect wedding humid
crush fall crush gush
sleep akward crush gush
national iver hiphop
cut me in quadrants leave me in the corner
audi volkswagen porsche cars cars
money nomoney money nomoney
reflect
new york aruba unemployment employment
new friend weight money nomoney
nocar no yes bike
coffee cup holder flash lense
plant orchid cash organic
laugh reflect
sneeze smoke breathe
epson salt awake chakras
clear foggy clear peace
reflect sit focus
photo learn drive picture
reflect wedding humid
crush fall crush gush
sleep akward crush gush
national iver hiphop
cut me in quadrants leave me in the corner
audi volkswagen porsche cars cars
money nomoney money nomoney
reflect
new york aruba unemployment employment
new friend weight money nomoney
nocar no yes bike
coffee cup holder flash lense
plant orchid cash organic
laugh reflect
sneeze smoke breathe
epson salt awake chakras
clear foggy clear peace
we met in the middle
the middle
we met in the middle.
how homosexual was benjamin button. so gay.
so anyway, i am so happy tonight. my life has become me biking home, driking a bottle of cab, watching keith oberman, and dancingto 50 cent on the commerical breaks.
yet, there is a part that is still misisng. it really doesn’t add up. its great. nothing adding up. its just splendid.
just felt like reporting on my status.
we met in the middle.
how homosexual was benjamin button. so gay.
so anyway, i am so happy tonight. my life has become me biking home, driking a bottle of cab, watching keith oberman, and dancingto 50 cent on the commerical breaks.
yet, there is a part that is still misisng. it really doesn’t add up. its great. nothing adding up. its just splendid.
just felt like reporting on my status.
sebastosmell
its cute how sabastopol smells like patuoli oil.
i can’t wait to stare at my farmer tomorrow. and for him to stare at me. i love it. i’ve been waiting all week for this.
i can’t wait to stare at my farmer tomorrow. and for him to stare at me. i love it. i’ve been waiting all week for this.
places i've visited 2008
san francisco, ca
rye, ny
greenwich, ct
new york city
yosemite national park, ca
prineville, or
entire oregon coast
not that much travelling. I was on unemployment the bulk of the year, and then i didn’t travel for the past 3 months because I had just gotten the job.
rye, ny
greenwich, ct
new york city
yosemite national park, ca
prineville, or
entire oregon coast
not that much travelling. I was on unemployment the bulk of the year, and then i didn’t travel for the past 3 months because I had just gotten the job.
marin comment
a quip told to me by carolyn during an after dinner walk around a random boat yard/pier in tiburon:
a woman spilled a bunch of red wine in trader joes the other day.
i didn’t mind it much, and at the checkout said “well it actually smells rather nice.”
the man behind me said “it was a good year.”
these little things make me love this area.
a woman spilled a bunch of red wine in trader joes the other day.
i didn’t mind it much, and at the checkout said “well it actually smells rather nice.”
the man behind me said “it was a good year.”
these little things make me love this area.
dancing around to -
She don’t believe in shooting stars
But she believes in shoes and cars
Wood floors in a new apartment
Couture from the store’s departments
You more like ‘love to start shit’
I’m more of the
Trips to Florida
Order the hor douvres, view of the water
Straight from a page of your favorite author
And the weather’s so breezy
Man, why can’t life always be this easy?
She in the mirror dancing so sleazy
I get a call like ‘Where are you, geezy?’
And try to hit you with the Ol-Wu-Wopte
Till I got flashed by the paparazzi
Damn, these niggas got me
I hate these niggas more than a Nazi
As I recall, I know you love to show off
But I never thought that you would take it this far
But what do I know?
(Flashing lights)
What do I know?
I know it’s been a while, sweetheart
We hardly talked
I was doing my thing
I know it was foul baby
Ay, babe, lately you been all on my brain
And if somebody woulda told me a month ago Frontin’ though
Yo, I wouldn’t wanna know
If somebody woulda told me a year ago it’ll go
get this difficult
Feeling like Katrina with no FEMA
Like Martin with no Gina
Like a flight with no visa
FIrst class with the seat back I still see ya
In my past you on the other side of the glass
Of my memory’s museum
I’m just saying, hey Mona Lisa
Come home you know you can’t Rome without Caesar
As I recall, I know you love to show off
But I never thought that you would take it this far
What do I know?
(Flashing lights)
what do I know
As you recall, you know I love to show off
But you never thought that I would take it this far
What do you know?
(Flashing lights)
What do you know?
But she believes in shoes and cars
Wood floors in a new apartment
Couture from the store’s departments
You more like ‘love to start shit’
I’m more of the
Trips to Florida
Order the hor douvres, view of the water
Straight from a page of your favorite author
And the weather’s so breezy
Man, why can’t life always be this easy?
She in the mirror dancing so sleazy
I get a call like ‘Where are you, geezy?’
And try to hit you with the Ol-Wu-Wopte
Till I got flashed by the paparazzi
Damn, these niggas got me
I hate these niggas more than a Nazi
As I recall, I know you love to show off
But I never thought that you would take it this far
But what do I know?
(Flashing lights)
What do I know?
I know it’s been a while, sweetheart
We hardly talked
I was doing my thing
I know it was foul baby
Ay, babe, lately you been all on my brain
And if somebody woulda told me a month ago Frontin’ though
Yo, I wouldn’t wanna know
If somebody woulda told me a year ago it’ll go
get this difficult
Feeling like Katrina with no FEMA
Like Martin with no Gina
Like a flight with no visa
FIrst class with the seat back I still see ya
In my past you on the other side of the glass
Of my memory’s museum
I’m just saying, hey Mona Lisa
Come home you know you can’t Rome without Caesar
As I recall, I know you love to show off
But I never thought that you would take it this far
What do I know?
(Flashing lights)
what do I know
As you recall, you know I love to show off
But you never thought that I would take it this far
What do you know?
(Flashing lights)
What do you know?
longest month
when did december stop being the longest month of the year??
when did december 1 - speed quickly to december 25th?
remember when it used to take 5 years to get from dec. 1 to dec. 25th?
when did december 1 - speed quickly to december 25th?
remember when it used to take 5 years to get from dec. 1 to dec. 25th?
b and s
this is a cute song that i like tonight. its by belle and sebastian. called "to be myself completely"
Well, my heart has fallen down
Thought I’d talked myself around
But to be myself completely I’ve just got to let you down
Well, I knew I’d say goodbye
Though it’s not my time to cry
And forever and for no one I will let it all go by
And to be myself completely I’ve just got to say goodbye
Z-list star in a hundred grand Garrett
The ladies say, "Hey, baby, you’ve earned it!"
I’m not so sure, I toured the land
You could call it work if you count the band
Still your voice calls out to me
Escort me to the harmony
I’m not sure what I will be
Find me in a bitter sweet hello
Well, my heart has fallen down
Thought I’d talked myself around
Though we say goodbye and wonder
What’s to know and who’s to blame
But to be myself completely I will love you just the same
Well, my heart has fallen down
Thought I’d talked myself around
But to be myself completely I’ve just got to let you down
Well, I knew I’d say goodbye
Though it’s not my time to cry
And forever and for no one I will let it all go by
And to be myself completely I’ve just got to say goodbye
Z-list star in a hundred grand Garrett
The ladies say, "Hey, baby, you’ve earned it!"
I’m not so sure, I toured the land
You could call it work if you count the band
Still your voice calls out to me
Escort me to the harmony
I’m not sure what I will be
Find me in a bitter sweet hello
Well, my heart has fallen down
Thought I’d talked myself around
Though we say goodbye and wonder
What’s to know and who’s to blame
But to be myself completely I will love you just the same
menhalls
another reason i love working with all men:
today i had a raspy throat at work (sore throat, nothing major). 2 different men brought me cough drops, im-promp-tu!
2 men told me i sounded sexy.
maybe i just know evil women? but no woman i've ever worked with would have done that.
today i had a raspy throat at work (sore throat, nothing major). 2 different men brought me cough drops, im-promp-tu!
2 men told me i sounded sexy.
maybe i just know evil women? but no woman i've ever worked with would have done that.
ok
what was i going to say? oh yeah. ok.
you know things are going OK, when:
you kind of want to stay at work, just because. not that there is anything wrong with home - but you like both equally.
know what i'm saying. not LOVE. but content like.
its all good.
you know things are going OK, when:
you kind of want to stay at work, just because. not that there is anything wrong with home - but you like both equally.
know what i'm saying. not LOVE. but content like.
its all good.
this picture means a lot to me.
for a few reasons. its funny in an interesting way. how this boring picture, means a lot to me right now.
the other person in the room i had a huge crush/omg i can't believe it crush on.
the lens changed my view.
i wanted to like, make out, with the lens.
i realized life was about the lenses in college. when mona and miles let me use his grandfathers camera. they let me use a lot. i should fix up the car and send it back to them.
differentlayers
gosh its one of those times where i listen to rap and emo and girl rap and beard rock. know what i mean? and my pictures are moody and my pictures a crisp. and my lights are bright and my lights are dim. my bike bikes and my car putts.
know what i mean?
you know, i love rogue wave - harmonium.
i also love atmosphere - dreamer. the title of the new atmosphere sure is great. "when life gives you lemons, paint that shit gold"
cute. right?
YOU BETTER BUST THEM OUT!
its so teenage that i have a den where no one can barely hear me bang on the desk with my hands and jump up and down on the floors. and BUST IT OUT. just like rogue wave harmonium.
cute. right?
well anyway, i just felt like sharing thats its been one of those wondering beautying weeks. fall is fast on our heels! there is a cool in the air. the gut starts pining for new york again. or just anything with fall or change of leaves really. the heart starts pining for other lost hearts. met or not. in a change way. men preach about changing things up. athletes jump run and dive.
to sum it up.
one night stands, or 1/2 night stands, or 2 hour stands, or 36 hour stands, or weekend stands, or stand stands, or breakfast stands, or bar stands, or gossip stands, or moppy stands, or work stands, or 5 night stands back to back.
they are all like fast food.
just one trip to mcdonalds, one trip to wendys, one trip to burger king, one trip through the drive through of in-n-out, one trip to jack-n-the-box, one trip to sonic, one trip to a&w, one trip to big joe's express, one trip to dairy queen.
all leave you happy and then sad. fit and then fat. beautiful and then greased. hamburger then fries. soda then milkshake. ketchup then mustard. seasame then bun.
they are all like fast food.
just one trip to mcdonalds, one trip to wendys, one trip to burger king, one trip through the drive through of in-n-out, one trip to jack-n-the-box, one trip to sonic, one trip to a&w, one trip to big joe's express, one trip to dairy queen.
all leave you happy and then sad. fit and then fat. beautiful and then greased. hamburger then fries. soda then milkshake. ketchup then mustard. seasame then bun.
newday
its just kind of funny to be back in the uncomfortable shoes, with all the other people wearing the uncomfortable shoes.
plod plod plod till lunch time. plod till break. plod till out time. race to eat.
plod plod plod till payday. plod till cashed. plod till store close. spend till gone.
so i'm back. and its good. i learned all the lessons i knew i'd learn, and i feel the same way i knew i'd feel. its cool.
i do love my new work. and i am excited. its just funny to be back.
i'm like what? i'm my own boss. right.
plod plod plod till lunch time. plod till break. plod till out time. race to eat.
plod plod plod till payday. plod till cashed. plod till store close. spend till gone.
so i'm back. and its good. i learned all the lessons i knew i'd learn, and i feel the same way i knew i'd feel. its cool.
i do love my new work. and i am excited. its just funny to be back.
i'm like what? i'm my own boss. right.
petit
man on wire is one of those movies where you leave the theatre quiet, inspired to tight-rope walk the sidewalk cracks.
how me made passionate love in celebration of flesh and blood after his being released from the psych evaluation.
dude was such a baller to fly back and forth between new york and paris to plot his wtc wire invasion.
thats the way to roll.
bigsmall
the big blogs should stop complaining about the little blogs. i mean, blogging is simply freedom of speech. and boo hoo if you think most of the blogs out there are boring. truth is, most of the human population is boring.
it would be like finding a slew of notebooks from some random 8th grade class. 89 percent of the notebooks would be boring. the other percent would be mildly interesting, etc. you get my point.
it would be like finding a slew of notebooks from some random 8th grade class. 89 percent of the notebooks would be boring. the other percent would be mildly interesting, etc. you get my point.
ok,oki'vebeenwatchinthehills
lo really sucks. i mean seriously? what a brat. i'm on team audrina. if i have to hear about how lo and lauren have been best friends since they were little? i mean seriously.
and why is lauren so obsessed with "roommate time"? its just weird.
stephanie? is like so incredibly lame? with her slurred speak. and her broken promises. god get me a gun.
justin bobby is so hot. i love "i'm just trying to get my party straight". i feel that. good job justin bobby.
i guess i watch for the LA scenery.
and why is lauren so obsessed with "roommate time"? its just weird.
stephanie? is like so incredibly lame? with her slurred speak. and her broken promises. god get me a gun.
justin bobby is so hot. i love "i'm just trying to get my party straight". i feel that. good job justin bobby.
i guess i watch for the LA scenery.
misplaced?
there is a mccain office in downtown san rafael. i was totally shocked for about 2 hours last night after seeing this. california kat and talked about it for awhile, and she said she is not surprised. she is from marin.
i however, cannot accept this as anything reputable. its making me embarrassed to be living in san rafael? isn't that so judgmental of me? totally.
WWOD? what would obama do?
just kidding. i'm not that psycho about obama. but i did think marin county was. of all of california - we were the county with the highest obama percentage.
maybe that is why mccain is here?
i however, cannot accept this as anything reputable. its making me embarrassed to be living in san rafael? isn't that so judgmental of me? totally.
WWOD? what would obama do?
just kidding. i'm not that psycho about obama. but i did think marin county was. of all of california - we were the county with the highest obama percentage.
maybe that is why mccain is here?
potblogsnottaken
igetstonedandblog.
igetstoned
getstoned - ended in 2003
why are we bothering with the http:// anymore? can we stop hooking up to them already?
igetstoned
getstoned - ended in 2003
why are we bothering with the http:// anymore? can we stop hooking up to them already?
olympic
well i sure do think that watching the Olympics on TV, is a family thing.
i sure do think.
"i used to watch the olympics when i was growing up"
so did i
i love gymnastics
i love swimming
my mom loved gymnastics
my mom liked swimming.
no really i liked swimming.
if you can, please possibly vote for my current gold medal.
and listen to YOU by rogue wave.
listen to it,
and then listen to it.
and then think about wanting to listen to it.
and then think about wanting to listen to it.
and then,
then smoke.
and then listen to it.
and then,
and then
i sure do think.
"i used to watch the olympics when i was growing up"
so did i
i love gymnastics
i love swimming
my mom loved gymnastics
my mom liked swimming.
no really i liked swimming.
if you can, please possibly vote for my current gold medal.
and listen to YOU by rogue wave.
listen to it,
and then listen to it.
and then think about wanting to listen to it.
and then think about wanting to listen to it.
and then,
then smoke.
and then listen to it.
and then,
and then
in the basement.
i've been getting spiritual.
it all happened on tuesday. no, thursday. duh.
i'm all about the chakras now. learning things as-fast-as-i-can! asfastasican. colors! and crystals! and meditation! and spirits! and daddies! and mommies! and your little brother that hit you in the 3rd grade! and that one time you got fired!
anotherbbq
tonight i ate only vegetable bbqd things.
and i liked it.
we talked about our sun signs. and our moon signs. and our rising sign.
did you know that i am a taurus towards bedtime, and libra at waking. i am run by the aries sign, as my "core" and as a taurus, i am actually striving to be the opposite sign, which is scorpio.
so that makes sense. we are all something. arent we. i mean, we all have traits of something.
so why have traits set in place?
oh cuz someone said so. and its been one of the oldest since the dawn of time.
interesting how they just showed a commercial with an olympian, and he was sitting on the couch eating while watching tv while reclining.
sendin' a message people.
sending a message.
people telling stories to get your attention. keep watchin.
dog time. chilling with your dog.
bed time. chilling with your bed.
showing all the things its going to take you to be an olympian.
all these things together make you a winner.
and i liked it.
we talked about our sun signs. and our moon signs. and our rising sign.
did you know that i am a taurus towards bedtime, and libra at waking. i am run by the aries sign, as my "core" and as a taurus, i am actually striving to be the opposite sign, which is scorpio.
so that makes sense. we are all something. arent we. i mean, we all have traits of something.
so why have traits set in place?
oh cuz someone said so. and its been one of the oldest since the dawn of time.
interesting how they just showed a commercial with an olympian, and he was sitting on the couch eating while watching tv while reclining.
sendin' a message people.
sending a message.
people telling stories to get your attention. keep watchin.
dog time. chilling with your dog.
bed time. chilling with your bed.
showing all the things its going to take you to be an olympian.
all these things together make you a winner.
rich apps
i am personally excited for the I AM POOR apple application for the IPHONE. the i am poor application will possibly be blue. and pulsate. like blueballs. it can't really be yellow - that would mistake it for a yellow diamond - coveted by many.
i guess it could be green - emerald- poormans diamond.
the I AM POOR app will be only purchased by payment plan- offered through the apps website. you will have the option of taking out a year payment plan interest free for the first six months; or a two year payment plan with 2.4 percent interest rate during the last month, during which you can forclose if need be, or declare bankruptcy.
apps for art
obama for prez
paris for comedy.
i guess it could be green - emerald- poormans diamond.
the I AM POOR app will be only purchased by payment plan- offered through the apps website. you will have the option of taking out a year payment plan interest free for the first six months; or a two year payment plan with 2.4 percent interest rate during the last month, during which you can forclose if need be, or declare bankruptcy.
apps for art
obama for prez
paris for comedy.
clouds
part of the "seasons" here is the welcoming back of clouds. they disappear for like 7 months, and then one day they come back, and life couldn't be better.
clouds make the sky more interesting.
i'm not talking about the fog. the fog is more like this big gray hand, that covers your face. its always there. no break from fog.
the clouds however, aren't always there. so they are part of our "seasons". yippee.
clouds make the sky more interesting.
i'm not talking about the fog. the fog is more like this big gray hand, that covers your face. its always there. no break from fog.
the clouds however, aren't always there. so they are part of our "seasons". yippee.
kingofsea
really, its the pilot fish that is the king of the ocean. the pilot fish eats the parasites off the shark. follows the shark around for its entire life, and never gets eaten.
they are like the personal assistants.
the working class heroes.
the pilot fish.
funnysketch
today i am super obsessed with the stuart sketch on madtv. michael mcdonald XI is hilarious. and so is the mom.
goinggay
gosh. i just felt a tinge of satisfaction at the thought that maybe lindsay going gay will promote all young women to gay.
so all the women will go gay, and then all that will be left will be the straight men. all alone. like the dumbasses they are.
so all the women will go gay, and then all that will be left will be the straight men. all alone. like the dumbasses they are.
thenew
lindsay is making gay the new straight.
i am making beard the new shave.
lets make bike the new car
and sober the new drunk.
pie the new cake
dog the new cat.
hi the new bye
smile the new frown.
i am making beard the new shave.
lets make bike the new car
and sober the new drunk.
pie the new cake
dog the new cat.
hi the new bye
smile the new frown.
beardrock
i like the new term "beard rock" as quoted in this month's vanity fair. we all know i am a fan of the beard, and i am a groupie of minor sorts. and we all know i have crushes on people like jim james, etc.
so i just love saying 'beard rock'. yesterday in bolinas with mia on the beach, she kept saying "yo" and i kept saying "oh look at that beautiful beard-rock boy". so it was fun for all.
beard rock. oh they are such beautiful boys.
also, whats great is that my girlfriends here think guys with beards are gross. so i kind of have them all to myself. yummy.
beard-rock.
its been hot here. we swam in the pacific yesterday.
so i just love saying 'beard rock'. yesterday in bolinas with mia on the beach, she kept saying "yo" and i kept saying "oh look at that beautiful beard-rock boy". so it was fun for all.
beard rock. oh they are such beautiful boys.
also, whats great is that my girlfriends here think guys with beards are gross. so i kind of have them all to myself. yummy.
beard-rock.
its been hot here. we swam in the pacific yesterday.
gettin' it
post brought to you by too $hort. uh. feel it niggas. i feel it in every cell.
Now let me holler at ya partner, spit this game
in you ear for a minute, quit complaining
Bout how you can't spend it cause you ain't got it
You got what it takes but not enough to get started
I hope you get the message, no it's not a test it's
Just me ridin legit, they can't arrest me or bust me
I'm still hungry, I want some more stuff
Get fat and watch my whole crew blow up
So get yours, and buy my new album
Peep the game and don't be like Calvin
Get everything you want, get real, get you mail
Get your girl to make bail and get your ass out of jail
You should be gettin it, everything you want
Everything you dreamed of, never have to front
you shoulf be gettin it, gettin money
I'm talking bout you black, don't laugh it aint funny
You should get a good lawyer, like Johnny Cochran
Swear to tell the truth, hell no I didn't pop him
Get your kids in school, so they can get an education
Get a degree, and take a vacation
You see I got all my game from the streets of California
Young millionaire with no high school diploma
Livin real good, taking care of my folks
roll up a fat one for the players to smoke
Short Dawg in the house, I know you aint trippin
Cause Life is Too $hort you gotta Get In Where You Fit In
Stop looking for what you never seem to find
It ain't what you think you got to read between the lines
Cause life ain't long, for a young black man
Tryin to make money doing all he can
Sellin dope don't ya hope he would go to classB
But the boy makes money and he makes it fast
with the twenties on top and the fifties on the bottom
I fuck the top notches oh yes we got em
It's been a long time since I first got down
But I still keep makin these funky sounds
Get your money man
Get yours
Chorus: P-Funk
You should be gettin it
Get it while the gettin is good, get it while you can
you should be gettin it
Get it while the gettin is good (repeat as necessary)
Verse Two: Too $hort
I know you tired of being broke just hanging out
You gotta lot a dreams but you can't get out
The first thing you need to do is set your self some goals
Think positive, everything else is old
and work hard, never stop hustlin
Cause they just love to see the black man strugglin
(So what are you saying Todd?)
It's time to come up, put your dollar bills in the air
He said meet me at the White House and I was there
Cause I'm one in a million, black man rising
They wanna keep me down but I always surprise em
Spend my money in the hood, I know it's all good
and you should do the same I told you peep the game
Too $hort, you know I'm the man
I lend my brother a hand cause I know I can
I keep going and goin but I'm not the pink bunny
I'm not beatin on a drum I never stop thinkin money
I'm gettin all I can if you don't ya slip
I can't wait to get to heaven just to have a grip
When I was broke, I couldn't afford a meal
But now I'm now rich I can't be fake I gots to keep it real
It's been a long time baby since I first got down
But it still keep making these funky sounds
Now let me holler at ya partner, spit this game
in you ear for a minute, quit complaining
Bout how you can't spend it cause you ain't got it
You got what it takes but not enough to get started
I hope you get the message, no it's not a test it's
Just me ridin legit, they can't arrest me or bust me
I'm still hungry, I want some more stuff
Get fat and watch my whole crew blow up
So get yours, and buy my new album
Peep the game and don't be like Calvin
Get everything you want, get real, get you mail
Get your girl to make bail and get your ass out of jail
You should be gettin it, everything you want
Everything you dreamed of, never have to front
you shoulf be gettin it, gettin money
I'm talking bout you black, don't laugh it aint funny
You should get a good lawyer, like Johnny Cochran
Swear to tell the truth, hell no I didn't pop him
Get your kids in school, so they can get an education
Get a degree, and take a vacation
You see I got all my game from the streets of California
Young millionaire with no high school diploma
Livin real good, taking care of my folks
roll up a fat one for the players to smoke
Short Dawg in the house, I know you aint trippin
Cause Life is Too $hort you gotta Get In Where You Fit In
Stop looking for what you never seem to find
It ain't what you think you got to read between the lines
Cause life ain't long, for a young black man
Tryin to make money doing all he can
Sellin dope don't ya hope he would go to classB
But the boy makes money and he makes it fast
with the twenties on top and the fifties on the bottom
I fuck the top notches oh yes we got em
It's been a long time since I first got down
But I still keep makin these funky sounds
Get your money man
Get yours
Chorus: P-Funk
You should be gettin it
Get it while the gettin is good, get it while you can
you should be gettin it
Get it while the gettin is good (repeat as necessary)
Verse Two: Too $hort
I know you tired of being broke just hanging out
You gotta lot a dreams but you can't get out
The first thing you need to do is set your self some goals
Think positive, everything else is old
and work hard, never stop hustlin
Cause they just love to see the black man strugglin
(So what are you saying Todd?)
It's time to come up, put your dollar bills in the air
He said meet me at the White House and I was there
Cause I'm one in a million, black man rising
They wanna keep me down but I always surprise em
Spend my money in the hood, I know it's all good
and you should do the same I told you peep the game
Too $hort, you know I'm the man
I lend my brother a hand cause I know I can
I keep going and goin but I'm not the pink bunny
I'm not beatin on a drum I never stop thinkin money
I'm gettin all I can if you don't ya slip
I can't wait to get to heaven just to have a grip
When I was broke, I couldn't afford a meal
But now I'm now rich I can't be fake I gots to keep it real
It's been a long time baby since I first got down
But it still keep making these funky sounds
i got caught sailing.
once.
when i was five........
tonight i went sailing drop-of-the-hat last-of-the-minute seat-of-the-pants at 5pm after getting a "lets go sailing" message from a stranger on sfsailing.com. so i drove to the sausa and sailed.
i was UNDER the golden gate. i've been waiting for my chance. to be under it. and i finally got it. 2 years later. well, actually 3! i've been here for 3 years.
the company was nice. the weather nice. the breeze choppy.
i hope he asks me again. its one of those things though, where you meet cool people, and its kind of all in their court. they have teh boat. they are in charge. alls you can do is smile and say you had a nice time.
wells i hopes they likes me.
once.
when i was five........
tonight i went sailing drop-of-the-hat last-of-the-minute seat-of-the-pants at 5pm after getting a "lets go sailing" message from a stranger on sfsailing.com. so i drove to the sausa and sailed.
i was UNDER the golden gate. i've been waiting for my chance. to be under it. and i finally got it. 2 years later. well, actually 3! i've been here for 3 years.
the company was nice. the weather nice. the breeze choppy.
i hope he asks me again. its one of those things though, where you meet cool people, and its kind of all in their court. they have teh boat. they are in charge. alls you can do is smile and say you had a nice time.
wells i hopes they likes me.
happening
you know whats happening (and this is great.) whats happening is that loans are tired of calling for collections - tired of no one being able to pay their minimum rates. and discounting payments, lowering interest rates, just to get a freakin' payment in.
they finally believe us when we as a collective say: "i can't pay that right now." so many of us have said that- whether we like to admit it or not, and now they are finally having to bend, because small payment, is better than no payment.
i know this has been happening for some time now, with housing, etc. but its finally trickled down into small 1000 dollar loans. smalltime things.
and i couldn't be happier.
they finally believe us when we as a collective say: "i can't pay that right now." so many of us have said that- whether we like to admit it or not, and now they are finally having to bend, because small payment, is better than no payment.
i know this has been happening for some time now, with housing, etc. but its finally trickled down into small 1000 dollar loans. smalltime things.
and i couldn't be happier.
down-e
was i the only one put into a two-day depression because of wall*e? and no, its not because i ate thanksgiving dinner 2006 at the same table as the director, and then 4 months later his wife hated me and closed her yarn shop. no, i don't think its because of that.
what depressed me the most was........... the portrayal of the humans. i am so depressed about them.
the downer humans over-rid the robot love story.
the links on kottke are cool.
what depressed me the most was........... the portrayal of the humans. i am so depressed about them.
the downer humans over-rid the robot love story.
the links on kottke are cool.
no more adsense
getting deleted by google adsense, was kind of like being slapped on the hand by GOD.
like, why do i feel like i need to run to the nearest figtree and cover myself?
like, why do i feel like i need to run to the nearest figtree and cover myself?
diggingaround
interesting.
i had a dream last night that i made my first sale to a couple. they were in their 50's. babyboomers - just like teh article says. in my dream it was a success.
i think the dream was to prepare me. i don't have a fear of failing. i know how to do that. i have a fear of success. i really don't know how to do that.
i want to learn though. i want to see what its like after i cross a hurdle. learn a skill and use it. apply myself for the B, instead of settle for the C.
i find myself lately doing a lot of talking.
to myself.
i am i am i am i am i am. i can i can i can i can. its selfish. but its like samantha in sex in the city. well, kind of not.
its like i want to do what i want to do. and i want to do it without worry of expense. i want to take pictures with old cameras that cost thousands of dollars. i want to, a few times a year, travel to old places and take pictures with those old cameras. and then i want to have those pictures printed on expensive papers. and i wont worry or save. i'll just have it there to do what i will with it.
i'm talking about money. to finance what i want. like, what makes me happy.
oh. and i really love donny deutsch. he's always an inspiration. he's my oprah. well actually, tyra/ellen are my oprah, and donny is my dr. phil.
i also like bob on the biggest loser. altho last season i was kind of rooting for the mean chick trainer. bob got a little soft. but i like bob because he encourages hikes, and natural things.
i wanna new truck.
i had a dream last night that i made my first sale to a couple. they were in their 50's. babyboomers - just like teh article says. in my dream it was a success.
i think the dream was to prepare me. i don't have a fear of failing. i know how to do that. i have a fear of success. i really don't know how to do that.
i want to learn though. i want to see what its like after i cross a hurdle. learn a skill and use it. apply myself for the B, instead of settle for the C.
i find myself lately doing a lot of talking.
to myself.
i am i am i am i am i am. i can i can i can i can. its selfish. but its like samantha in sex in the city. well, kind of not.
its like i want to do what i want to do. and i want to do it without worry of expense. i want to take pictures with old cameras that cost thousands of dollars. i want to, a few times a year, travel to old places and take pictures with those old cameras. and then i want to have those pictures printed on expensive papers. and i wont worry or save. i'll just have it there to do what i will with it.
i'm talking about money. to finance what i want. like, what makes me happy.
oh. and i really love donny deutsch. he's always an inspiration. he's my oprah. well actually, tyra/ellen are my oprah, and donny is my dr. phil.
i also like bob on the biggest loser. altho last season i was kind of rooting for the mean chick trainer. bob got a little soft. but i like bob because he encourages hikes, and natural things.
i wanna new truck.
bothrings
i wanna make it so when my phone rings, my computer also rings. so i don't have to carry my phone everywhere. i keep my phone in my bag when i get home. if someone calls me or sends me a text message, i get a note on my screen "incoming call" i press "answer" and then i speak to my caller through my computer.
not that much different from ichat video, but this way it would be linked to my phone number.
i'm sure that will come along someday soon.
not that much different from ichat video, but this way it would be linked to my phone number.
i'm sure that will come along someday soon.
dreamford
i just had a dream that harrison ford was trying to date me. he had recently broken it off with calista flockhart, and said i was all he could think about.
we kept playing phone-tag, but never got to go out. i was ho-hum about the situation, but all my friends were going nuts about it. constantly asking me the status of the phone-tag.
we all lived in jackson hole.
finally, we hung out. it was intense. this like, meeting of the souls. like our voices were the same voice. heartrate in unison.
and then i woke up.
we kept playing phone-tag, but never got to go out. i was ho-hum about the situation, but all my friends were going nuts about it. constantly asking me the status of the phone-tag.
we all lived in jackson hole.
finally, we hung out. it was intense. this like, meeting of the souls. like our voices were the same voice. heartrate in unison.
and then i woke up.
reflect
new york was wow. my visit. it was like a dream? kind of. it went by so fast. i loved that it rained.
i've missed thunderstorms. like missed them with my heart. a lot of things happened and didn't happen with my heart during my new york visit.
new york visit. brooklyn clouds. rye evenings. feet pains. photo snaps.
this picture above is me the morning after kats wedding. i woke around 7am. layed in sweat on a foreign bed. layed there until i willed myself to stand. it was so humid and sweaty on the west side, that i said to myself: "it will be cooler on a subway car". so i got up, wrote a note to mary, and left.
on my way out of the building - i caught a glimpse of the colors. so primary. so political. so city. so painful. so new. willed myself to take a picture. camera face. my eyes are cameras. my face is a camera.
it was so hot on the subway platform. standing there. hot. i didn't move. i stood. and water molecules formed small communities on my flesh. and then they went traveling through the fibers of my clothes.
and then blast! of cold air on the red line. blast of cold air. water evaporates. blast. 42nd street exit - hot. water back. water butt. water forehead. bored waiting for gray shuttle. bored. get money out of minor account. bored take out the most money this card will let me take out. deliriously - making bad choices. bored making bad choices. i now have a wallet full of cash. i buy a bright garish aquamarine colored i love new york tshirt. i look at the subway coffee mugs. i want one.
and then my subway shows up. i get on. and there is an angry man, asking for money. he says something in swahili to the man next to me. and then he yells to the man as we all exit "STOP BEING SO JUDGEMENTAL".
in a fog i get on my next train. in a fog mona picks me up from the station. in a fog i, battle-worn, go to sleep in cool air, big bed, for 7 hours.
newyork june 08
accents. fastfuastfooastfoohastphacst.
one two three four five six seven-maybe eight egg sandwiches.
kaiser roll. toasted
2eggs pepper swiss
2eggs pepper swiss bacon
2eggs bacon
2eggs bacon american
2eggs bacon american
2eggs bacon provolone
chicken tzhadziki off the grill
mistersoftee dipped in butterscotch
longfords ice cream
martins potato bread
bryant park movie. dr. no
coors light cans during movie "so california of me"
"you are such a hipster" when i thought that term had died.
bummer tim russert
white wine white wine champagne tequilla shots white wine.
20 dollar metrocard.
orange hair comments. none good. me not caring.
13 year old hipsters with private school friends.
friendship bracelets.
friendster marriage.
facebook friends.
wow taxi! wow with your screens. wow with your credibility.
trains. longplanes. clouds. rain. big drops. thunder. small drops.
prada bergdorf hm forever21 soho fragments purl patchwork new museum lit
esspresso on mulberry. pinkberry on sullivan.
public displays of affection. dark parks. rain flips.
125th street fordham new rochelle larchmont mamaroneck harrison rye portchester greenich coscob old greenwich riverside and stamford.
this train is making all local stops.
nyfeet
in the bible (which simply saying the word bible these days sounds so false...) so, in BIBLICAL days, the washing of feet, pretty much meant that it was "go time". you went to the temple, got your feet washed before god, etc.
since being back in new york, i had FORGOTTEN the pleasure of washing my feet before bedtime. in new york city, it becomes a summer ritual of sorts. during the summer, you wear skimpy, skin-revealing shoes, you wear no socks, you walk around, your feet get dirty. you go home, you wash your feet before bed. well, if you are a semi-anal like me.... nothing major, just a damp washcloth.
my feet have taken the hit this trip. parts of my toes have no skin. other parts have been swollen for 4 days. other parts simply gave up and went numb.
with my friend tonight, she commented on how she loves the walking. its her usual comment. and then we had the above conversation. i looked down, and noticed she was wearing flip flops. huh. "oh yeah" i said to myself, and then i remembered how new yorkers sometimes carry flip flops in their bags during the summer. you never know when its going to rain. they also help ease pain while breaking in new shoes.
nothing major, just a cultural note.
sfostuck
well. i’ve got one two three four hour to type. four hours to think about how fucking criminal things have gotten in terms of service.
oops - did i loose you?
don’t want to listen/read/write a rant.
loss of passion.
i sit in an aiport - SFO. my flight to new york has been delayed from 10pm to 2am. my initial reaction to this was rage. as any reaction would be. i had a feeling i should check my flight to see if it was delayed. but i didn’t.
i wonder if people would recognize me from high school, that i haven’t seen in 10 plus years.
i wonder if i should dye my hair bright yellow. not like garish, just a bright blonde.
airport culture. they stick us here to spend more money. so far,i’ve spent 8.14 on water and tea, 10.25 on nailpolish, and 2.78 on a bran/banan/blueberry muffin.
we are becoming computer. we are meshed with other things.
my spacebar isn’t working.
if iwas stuck in an airport in 1960, iwould be writing with pen and paper. now ican write and think without looking at the keys.
isit kittycorner to the bar. iwant to see airport culture ”go down”. i want to see how this place breaks-out after hours. or if it even does.
i live with a girl who is 24,and full of life - in this sense:
she sings really loudly. she laughs really loudy. she dances when she feels like it. she shows up to parties, lets herself hang out, and then she twirls her hair around and dances around. if you don’t like what she is doing, she’s says fuck you i can do what i want.
now we read this, and see this, and think “oh thats that”. but when you live with it - you start to get accustomed to that way of thinking.
i am going to take a break and paint my nails with a color named ‘canberra’t without you’
well that was fun. i’ve passed 15 minutes.
oh boy. itlooks like snagging this booth that i am in is turning out to be prime real estate. i feel like a person going to burning man in 1995. I feel like a kid living in williamsburg in 1999. i am a “booth dweller” to the overnight set at SFO. but there is no plug, so this will last as long as my battery, and then i go scavaging for a plug. electricity. mundacity.
the electric company where i live -PG&E puts out announcements telling us to turn things off. turn off standby. unplug things.
someday, we might have to do all things online. we might have to log-in to use a computer. programs like pages and photoshop, will all be monitored.
how much gas do you think was used in the campaigns.
ilike tight plaid shirts. ilike burritos. and ithink, ilike jobs.
ihave the hiccups. this is going to be a blast.
i’m wearing a big red belt. it gives me sass. its like 3 inches wide. with a 4 inch wide buckle. when iwear the belt around the house, my roommate sings a jingle that goes “i’m a girl, with a red belt on, oh yeah. hear me sing this song. i’m a girl, with a red belt on.”
john,
you say you think you are a fuckup. i guess maybe i'm missing something.
are you talking about minor things? like maybe you think fucking up is letting your teeth get 12 cavaties?
do tell. i’m layed over for 4 hours. airlines are criminal. sticking me here for 4 hours - so i will spend 18 dollars on a glass of water. i at least hope those rich kids drinking at the bar get drunk and obnoxious. it will in the least, be something to write home about.
anise.
well? i moved areas in the airport, and sat down to eat a peice of cheescake for 4 dollars and 99 cents. there is a typical typical jewish son and mother having some brick oven pizza, a few tables over. the mother, wearing her many disheveled layers, and the dutiful skinny son wearing his little jewish hat. the mother scolds him,and stuffs a paper napkin down the front of his shirt like a bib. no. the mother scolds him and places a bib over his shirt, in the form of a paper napkin. the son looks up - not dis-similar to a look of innocence that rowdy gives me from time to time as he’s trying to be the best dog... and chews his pizza with wide-eyed duty.
i really want another peice of that lemon cake.
nude colors never really sit even on my nails. seriously. i’ll never figure it out.
the jewish mother and son outfit are leaving. she’s got on a skirt, flowing flowers, with leggings, with bulky socks, with athletic shoes. with a neck brace, and gray wirey hair.
a lot of these traveling men are wearing wedding rings.
i’m going to go find a place to sleep now.
well, 3 hours later, its go time. not really. its 2:15am, and i am still at SFO.
2:15am.
i managed to get a couple naps. i got to really stretch out, cover my eyes and sleep. i am so glad i didn’t sit over here with all the people. someone has an annoying laugh, and its just noisey in general.
i talked on the phone with roommatesarah for a half hour. she is fretting over a guy named lenny.
and now we are boarding.
exploding feet
i just had this dream - aka nightmare? where there was a suicide bomber throwing a bomb on a school. the school was empty. he threw the bomb, and it landed in the trash can. the trash can blew up, and started a fire.
my parents and i watched. then my mom and dad ran, as the bomber moved his attention toward us. he then challenged me. i was sitting in an orange eames chair. he threw a couple of smaller bombs at my feet. i kept sitting there, casually crosslegged.
and then as they started smoking, i got up and ran.
after a few minutes, the entire nation caught on to what was going on. people started walking around with garden tools.
as for my family - all i wanted to do was lay down with my mom. but her bed was empty. her front room - where her bed was - had been turned into a station not unlike the one featured in E.T.
i then started to get concerned as to the whereabouts of my parents.
and then i woke up.
with a very STRONG allergy to dust mites - aka: they give me asthma. er, GAVE me asthma - apparently it never goes away... i now have to wash my ENTIRED bedding in hot bleach water once a week. i tried going two weeks, but it is leaving me weezing and stuffed nose. so i guess its going to have to be every 2 weeks.
washing them hot w/ bleach means i (obviously) can now only buy WHITE. it also kills all the mites.
then i spray a little bleach on my mattress. there is actual dust mite spray, i just simply have to special order it.
my parents and i watched. then my mom and dad ran, as the bomber moved his attention toward us. he then challenged me. i was sitting in an orange eames chair. he threw a couple of smaller bombs at my feet. i kept sitting there, casually crosslegged.
and then as they started smoking, i got up and ran.
after a few minutes, the entire nation caught on to what was going on. people started walking around with garden tools.
as for my family - all i wanted to do was lay down with my mom. but her bed was empty. her front room - where her bed was - had been turned into a station not unlike the one featured in E.T.
i then started to get concerned as to the whereabouts of my parents.
and then i woke up.
with a very STRONG allergy to dust mites - aka: they give me asthma. er, GAVE me asthma - apparently it never goes away... i now have to wash my ENTIRED bedding in hot bleach water once a week. i tried going two weeks, but it is leaving me weezing and stuffed nose. so i guess its going to have to be every 2 weeks.
washing them hot w/ bleach means i (obviously) can now only buy WHITE. it also kills all the mites.
then i spray a little bleach on my mattress. there is actual dust mite spray, i just simply have to special order it.
note by note
passionate. musical. queens, new york. 57th street. american.
go see this, if not only for the small performances by helene grimaud and marcus roberts.
go see this, if not only for the small performances by helene grimaud and marcus roberts.
recount
recount was a movie i sat through while babysitting. wow. zinger. really the entire movie leads you to the closing shot - of the storage hangar where all the ballots are kept. really, thats the moment of zen.
in other news, i had a dream i was watching a childbirth, and there were complications and only the leg of the baby was hanging out of the mother giving birth. the doctors knocked her out like cattle, left the room, and said they would be back. i was left there starting at 3 legs. it was rather disturbing.
in other news, i had a dream i was watching a childbirth, and there were complications and only the leg of the baby was hanging out of the mother giving birth. the doctors knocked her out like cattle, left the room, and said they would be back. i was left there starting at 3 legs. it was rather disturbing.
waterdream
it was a gorgeous spot. a water/bay/beach/rocky area. a secret part of a park. a grotto like on the almalfi coast. but here in the bay area.
him and i go night swimming. in reality he was upset last night that i didn't join him at the pool - maybe this is why i had this dream.
so we travel to minor places together. like the city, nearby lakes, attainable hikes.
we had 2 options of how to get to our destination - swim - or walk. of course we chose swim. so we swim in the black water. and make it. and have a wonderful time. pointing out rock formations. pointing out the blackness of the water. accidentally touching. fully enjoying each other. laughing. water. rocks. bay. beach.
so we go back. this time we bring annoying friends. they bring their annoyances in the forms of their voices. their equipment. we urge them to just swim. just jump in. ditch the boat. ditch the kayak. ditch the pontoon.
as i am talking to annoyance, getting her prepped - he leaves me. he says its a waste of time and that he will see me at the destination. upset, i tell the annoyance that i am leaving her. try to leave her and she follows in her boat.
her insecurity of being out in the night. on a boat. in black water. makes me insecure. so i get scared. start worrying about sharks. stop focusing on destination.
hear him calling for me. testing me.
get mad at convenient store situated in the middle of the swim. tell annoyance to go to hell.
jump in the water and furiously swim to be with him again.
and then we are together. cold. wet. tired. satisfied.
and the sky is still dark. the stars are still out. the water still that deep blue color. glistening. but dark. his hands wrap around my back. wet. and we stand there. stand there. stand there. breathing. looking. breathing.
dripping.
yah see, my problem is that mtv wasn't always this SHITTY.
does it even matter where the real world cast is filming anymore? what is teh real world?
what is this tia tequilla girl?
what is this dating show that is actually all about hooking up?
is it constantly spring break on mtv?
but more importantly - WHO is watching the MTV channel?
thats not only the MOST important question - its actually the most DISTURBING.
does it even matter where the real world cast is filming anymore? what is teh real world?
what is this tia tequilla girl?
what is this dating show that is actually all about hooking up?
is it constantly spring break on mtv?
but more importantly - WHO is watching the MTV channel?
thats not only the MOST important question - its actually the most DISTURBING.
cloth
our house doesn't buy paper napkins anymore.
we all use this expensive silk/cotton cloth napkins.
bought a pack of 20.
wash 1 load of napkins a week.
and everyone seems fine with it?
so now we are a "cloth napkin" house.
we all use this expensive silk/cotton cloth napkins.
bought a pack of 20.
wash 1 load of napkins a week.
and everyone seems fine with it?
so now we are a "cloth napkin" house.
its the times when rowdy (the dog) will not leave me alone.
the times he just sits there looking at me. panting.
the times when he darts off into a prickly raspberries.
the times his tail gets so excited that he knocks stuff over and breaks it.
the times he barks at the neighbors dog through the fence.
the times he wakes me up at 4am because he can't sleep.
the times he slams himself into a wall while trying to catch a fly.
the times he is too excited that he forgets to eat or sleep or drink.
its these times i am reminded that he really is the lesser species.
the times he just sits there looking at me. panting.
the times when he darts off into a prickly raspberries.
the times his tail gets so excited that he knocks stuff over and breaks it.
the times he barks at the neighbors dog through the fence.
the times he wakes me up at 4am because he can't sleep.
the times he slams himself into a wall while trying to catch a fly.
the times he is too excited that he forgets to eat or sleep or drink.
its these times i am reminded that he really is the lesser species.
this is it.
i, without a doubt, love this picture. i scanned it from the new book "Photo by Sammy Davis Jr.".
Sammy Davis Jr. took this picture. It is untitled, without description, in the section with this intro "Sammy loved photographing women and took thousands of photos of beautiful women all over the world."
Sammy Davis Jr. took this picture. It is untitled, without description, in the section with this intro "Sammy loved photographing women and took thousands of photos of beautiful women all over the world."
ennui - on wi
love places that serve beverages and play music and have backrooms that maybe open onto something with fresh air and a little more space.
love savoring cigarettes, sipping beer, shaking my head in agreement. one patron had a corncob pipe. the other a fedora with an orange/white feather.
tonight - or - last night 3 of us similars were hanging out - stopped by that place in sausalito three names - some name - no name. and the jazz was boppin'. the jazz on friday is of note. i'll add it to the section.
"you seem like you have ennui" . "you seem like an observer"
"i am sorry. i don't have ennui. but thank you. i find that flattering. or - i like that you used that word. thank you. and yes. i'm an observer".
and a participator. but i do like a good observation if i do say so myself.
horizons in the sausa - little bit spendy. this makes me uneasy in tourist towns, so i'm giving it a 6. if the sausa weren't tourist, and the food weren't packaged, i'd give it a ten.
but if my stomach were smaller, my hair brighter, and my legs a different shape, i'd give myself a ten too.
2 guys. same name. formal version of name at that. kinda funny?
matthew mark luke john.
first and second samuel. first and second kings.
deuteronomy joshua judges ruth.
levitacus numbers.
peter paul mary
had a talk with monique about galacians. sp. promised her i'd check out a congregation on sunday. but i also promised leah i'd be at the farmers market, and i also promised hillary i'd meet her in golden gate park for bay to breakers. i also promised my mind that i'd take myself to forever 21 in serramonte to stock up on 3 dollar earrings. so i've got some promises to break. and some to keep.
love savoring cigarettes, sipping beer, shaking my head in agreement. one patron had a corncob pipe. the other a fedora with an orange/white feather.
tonight - or - last night 3 of us similars were hanging out - stopped by that place in sausalito three names - some name - no name. and the jazz was boppin'. the jazz on friday is of note. i'll add it to the section.
"you seem like you have ennui" . "you seem like an observer"
"i am sorry. i don't have ennui. but thank you. i find that flattering. or - i like that you used that word. thank you. and yes. i'm an observer".
and a participator. but i do like a good observation if i do say so myself.
horizons in the sausa - little bit spendy. this makes me uneasy in tourist towns, so i'm giving it a 6. if the sausa weren't tourist, and the food weren't packaged, i'd give it a ten.
but if my stomach were smaller, my hair brighter, and my legs a different shape, i'd give myself a ten too.
2 guys. same name. formal version of name at that. kinda funny?
matthew mark luke john.
first and second samuel. first and second kings.
deuteronomy joshua judges ruth.
levitacus numbers.
peter paul mary
had a talk with monique about galacians. sp. promised her i'd check out a congregation on sunday. but i also promised leah i'd be at the farmers market, and i also promised hillary i'd meet her in golden gate park for bay to breakers. i also promised my mind that i'd take myself to forever 21 in serramonte to stock up on 3 dollar earrings. so i've got some promises to break. and some to keep.
the addition
since joining myspace, my birthdays have included one more thing:
waiting until the end of the day to see how many birthday wishes i received.
however....
to my demise, i noticed that i switched my account to "disable birthday notification".
i was actually upset about that.
i was actually, genuinely upset.
waiting until the end of the day to see how many birthday wishes i received.
however....
to my demise, i noticed that i switched my account to "disable birthday notification".
i was actually upset about that.
i was actually, genuinely upset.
movie updates
as much as i wanted to watch fellini's satyricon so i could more fully understand that dweeb in annie hall............. i didn't last but 18 minutes, and had to read the wikipedia page instead............... i didn't last but 3 minutes and had to blog about the death of my latin battery instead.
i feel about satyricon as i feel about jellyfish as i feel about 29 palms. it is a sad day when i have 3 movies to report in an ill manner.
never have i walked out of a movie at the rafael (my favorite movie theatre in town, of which i am a member, of which only shows indie/art/historical films). seriously, every movie i have seen there was just incredible. and then i watched jellyfish. and then i walked out.
29 palms. geesh. within the first 4 minutes, i could tell the dude was a terrible actor, the chick sucked, and even the first sex scene was ridiculous. but i wanted to see the other sex scenes, so i watched the movie on x2.
masculin, feminin - required viewing. felt like i was in college sneaking into anna's film class with her, while thinking about how cute eric b. was. there were parts of teh movie everyone should memorize of course. and then it ended.
mama roma - what i saw of this - was INCREDIBLE. but then i never got around to finishing the movie. i was out of it last week.
a bunch of asian director movies from criterion collection - good, but am i listing them by name and giving you the details? NO.
and now i take out satyricon, and insert my life as a dog.
i feel about satyricon as i feel about jellyfish as i feel about 29 palms. it is a sad day when i have 3 movies to report in an ill manner.
never have i walked out of a movie at the rafael (my favorite movie theatre in town, of which i am a member, of which only shows indie/art/historical films). seriously, every movie i have seen there was just incredible. and then i watched jellyfish. and then i walked out.
29 palms. geesh. within the first 4 minutes, i could tell the dude was a terrible actor, the chick sucked, and even the first sex scene was ridiculous. but i wanted to see the other sex scenes, so i watched the movie on x2.
masculin, feminin - required viewing. felt like i was in college sneaking into anna's film class with her, while thinking about how cute eric b. was. there were parts of teh movie everyone should memorize of course. and then it ended.
mama roma - what i saw of this - was INCREDIBLE. but then i never got around to finishing the movie. i was out of it last week.
a bunch of asian director movies from criterion collection - good, but am i listing them by name and giving you the details? NO.
and now i take out satyricon, and insert my life as a dog.
weak, mildly interesting men are............ just that.
having you call the shots? how mundane.
they hang out together. they are talking.
they are talking with undertones that you might show your face.
you need some popcorn for your movie.
reluctantly you go upstairs and pop your popcorn.
half orgasmic that you are having a cozy night with popcorn and movie.
touching yourself on the way there and back.
so anyway there they are. mundaning away.
staring at you. one stares a lot. one talks a lot.
telling you a story about the trees.
you going hm and ah. hm. ah.
in your silence they realize
oh. bummer.
and then your popcorn is popped, you retreat. giddy.
and they get quiet and go to their rooms to pout.
now what kind of men are these? who does this?
this is how you would hang around a mother.
this is how you would hang around an owner.
leave mommy without you tonight. she is watching a movie.
mama can't throw the ball. she is watching a movie.
get out! get out! get out!
having you call the shots? how mundane.
they hang out together. they are talking.
they are talking with undertones that you might show your face.
you need some popcorn for your movie.
reluctantly you go upstairs and pop your popcorn.
half orgasmic that you are having a cozy night with popcorn and movie.
touching yourself on the way there and back.
so anyway there they are. mundaning away.
staring at you. one stares a lot. one talks a lot.
telling you a story about the trees.
you going hm and ah. hm. ah.
in your silence they realize
oh. bummer.
and then your popcorn is popped, you retreat. giddy.
and they get quiet and go to their rooms to pout.
now what kind of men are these? who does this?
this is how you would hang around a mother.
this is how you would hang around an owner.
leave mommy without you tonight. she is watching a movie.
mama can't throw the ball. she is watching a movie.
get out! get out! get out!
if i could have a second skin
do you think she is listening to Dress Up In You while she is doing this to herself?
but the blues are still blue
bike route to the barn ->
32.8 miles bitches.
hey hey tonight is a big barn party. dan's puttin' rowdy in the car, and i'm puttin' myself on a bike, and then we are all meeting up at the barn.
whats the barn?
a place in petaloomer where you can stomp & dance & roll & camp. the beer is brewed right there. its where i rang in the new year, and so far its been a good new year, so i figure i should never miss another party.
yo yo belle & sebastian the life pursuit ain't to bad if yah ask me.
32.8 miles bitches.
hey hey tonight is a big barn party. dan's puttin' rowdy in the car, and i'm puttin' myself on a bike, and then we are all meeting up at the barn.
whats the barn?
a place in petaloomer where you can stomp & dance & roll & camp. the beer is brewed right there. its where i rang in the new year, and so far its been a good new year, so i figure i should never miss another party.
yo yo belle & sebastian the life pursuit ain't to bad if yah ask me.
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