9 days sober

wow i just ate a chocolate that said it was cookie dough covered in chocolate. it tasted like medicine. of a dishwash kind...

at work i am friends with people 20 years older than me. the people closer to my age are well, mean. and they whisper and glance. and they don't really smile all that much. i try to stick with the people who smile, and when you walk by them, they don't scowl - they whisper "you look beautiful when you smile. hold your head up and smile."

today while having lunch with one of those gorgeous co-workers, i listened while she talked about her engagement to someone 20 years older than her.
as i listened and look at her, i realized -
wow. life is long. wow. i mean, i have so much more to go.
i felt so lucky to have her as a friend.

and that is when i realized that i would look back and wish i would have known what i know now.

when you have those brief moments where you realize just how young and just how long this life is.
you straighten your pants, pull up your socks, tuck in your shirt, and try to muster all the knowledge you could possibly contribute to that instant.

trying to know what we know now can be a lot of work!

and then back to normal time. maybe a 4/4 measure. of just being in the moment.

i have 20 dollars. i will get something within 20 dollars.
i have a slice of bread. i will eat something with a slice of bread.
i have to take a walk. i will take a walk.
i have a song. i will play a song.