early to bed, early to rise, makes you a loser.
lets party all night long. -steven colbert.


it was a gorgeous spot. a water/bay/beach/rocky area. a secret part of a park. a grotto like on the almalfi coast. but here in the bay area.
him and i go night swimming. in reality he was upset last night that i didn't join him at the pool - maybe this is why i had this dream.
so we travel to minor places together. like the city, nearby lakes, attainable hikes.
we had 2 options of how to get to our destination - swim - or walk. of course we chose swim. so we swim in the black water. and make it. and have a wonderful time. pointing out rock formations. pointing out the blackness of the water. accidentally touching. fully enjoying each other. laughing. water. rocks. bay. beach.
so we go back. this time we bring annoying friends. they bring their annoyances in the forms of their voices. their equipment. we urge them to just swim. just jump in. ditch the boat. ditch the kayak. ditch the pontoon.
as i am talking to annoyance, getting her prepped - he leaves me. he says its a waste of time and that he will see me at the destination. upset, i tell the annoyance that i am leaving her. try to leave her and she follows in her boat.
her insecurity of being out in the night. on a boat. in black water. makes me insecure. so i get scared. start worrying about sharks. stop focusing on destination.
hear him calling for me. testing me.
get mad at convenient store situated in the middle of the swim. tell annoyance to go to hell.
jump in the water and furiously swim to be with him again.
and then we are together. cold. wet. tired. satisfied.
and the sky is still dark. the stars are still out. the water still that deep blue color. glistening. but dark. his hands wrap around my back. wet. and we stand there. stand there. stand there. breathing. looking. breathing.

yah see, my problem is that mtv wasn't always this SHITTY.
does it even matter where the real world cast is filming anymore? what is teh real world?
what is this tia tequilla girl?
what is this dating show that is actually all about hooking up?
is it constantly spring break on mtv?

but more importantly - WHO is watching the MTV channel?

thats not only the MOST important question - its actually the most DISTURBING.


our house doesn't buy paper napkins anymore.

we all use this expensive silk/cotton cloth napkins.

bought a pack of 20.

wash 1 load of napkins a week.

and everyone seems fine with it?

so now we are a "cloth napkin" house.
its like wow. there's a lot of funny here, but not a lot of laughter.

i couldn't tell if these two mothers were talking about their dogs or the their children.
its the times when rowdy (the dog) will not leave me alone.
the times he just sits there looking at me. panting.
the times when he darts off into a prickly raspberries.
the times his tail gets so excited that he knocks stuff over and breaks it.
the times he barks at the neighbors dog through the fence.
the times he wakes me up at 4am because he can't sleep.
the times he slams himself into a wall while trying to catch a fly.
the times he is too excited that he forgets to eat or sleep or drink.

its these times i am reminded that he really is the lesser species.

this is it.

i, without a doubt, love this picture. i scanned it from the new book "Photo by Sammy Davis Jr.".

Sammy Davis Jr. took this picture. It is untitled, without description, in the section with this intro "Sammy loved photographing women and took thousands of photos of beautiful women all over the world."

ennui - on wi

love places that serve beverages and play music and have backrooms that maybe open onto something with fresh air and a little more space.

love savoring cigarettes, sipping beer, shaking my head in agreement. one patron had a corncob pipe. the other a fedora with an orange/white feather.

tonight - or - last night 3 of us similars were hanging out - stopped by that place in sausalito three names - some name - no name. and the jazz was boppin'. the jazz on friday is of note. i'll add it to the section.

"you seem like you have ennui" . "you seem like an observer"
"i am sorry. i don't have ennui. but thank you. i find that flattering. or - i like that you used that word. thank you. and yes. i'm an observer".

and a participator. but i do like a good observation if i do say so myself.

horizons in the sausa - little bit spendy. this makes me uneasy in tourist towns, so i'm giving it a 6. if the sausa weren't tourist, and the food weren't packaged, i'd give it a ten.

but if my stomach were smaller, my hair brighter, and my legs a different shape, i'd give myself a ten too.

2 guys. same name. formal version of name at that. kinda funny?

matthew mark luke john.
first and second samuel. first and second kings.
deuteronomy joshua judges ruth.
levitacus numbers.
peter paul mary

had a talk with monique about galacians. sp. promised her i'd check out a congregation on sunday. but i also promised leah i'd be at the farmers market, and i also promised hillary i'd meet her in golden gate park for bay to breakers. i also promised my mind that i'd take myself to forever 21 in serramonte to stock up on 3 dollar earrings. so i've got some promises to break. and some to keep.

the addition

since joining myspace, my birthdays have included one more thing:

waiting until the end of the day to see how many birthday wishes i received.


to my demise, i noticed that i switched my account to "disable birthday notification".

i was actually upset about that.

i was actually, genuinely upset.

movie updates

as much as i wanted to watch fellini's satyricon so i could more fully understand that dweeb in annie hall............. i didn't last but 18 minutes, and had to read the wikipedia page instead............... i didn't last but 3 minutes and had to blog about the death of my latin battery instead.

i feel about satyricon as i feel about jellyfish as i feel about 29 palms. it is a sad day when i have 3 movies to report in an ill manner.

never have i walked out of a movie at the rafael (my favorite movie theatre in town, of which i am a member, of which only shows indie/art/historical films). seriously, every movie i have seen there was just incredible. and then i watched jellyfish. and then i walked out.

29 palms. geesh. within the first 4 minutes, i could tell the dude was a terrible actor, the chick sucked, and even the first sex scene was ridiculous. but i wanted to see the other sex scenes, so i watched the movie on x2.

masculin, feminin
- required viewing. felt like i was in college sneaking into anna's film class with her, while thinking about how cute eric b. was. there were parts of teh movie everyone should memorize of course. and then it ended.

mama roma - what i saw of this - was INCREDIBLE. but then i never got around to finishing the movie. i was out of it last week.

a bunch of asian director movies from criterion collection - good, but am i listing them by name and giving you the details? NO.

and now i take out satyricon, and insert my life as a dog.
weak, mildly interesting men are............ just that.

having you call the shots? how mundane.

they hang out together. they are talking.
they are talking with undertones that you might show your face.
you need some popcorn for your movie.
reluctantly you go upstairs and pop your popcorn.
half orgasmic that you are having a cozy night with popcorn and movie.
touching yourself on the way there and back.
so anyway there they are. mundaning away.
staring at you. one stares a lot. one talks a lot.
telling you a story about the trees.
you going hm and ah. hm. ah.
in your silence they realize
oh. bummer.
and then your popcorn is popped, you retreat. giddy.
and they get quiet and go to their rooms to pout.

now what kind of men are these? who does this?

this is how you would hang around a mother.
this is how you would hang around an owner.

leave mommy without you tonight. she is watching a movie.
mama can't throw the ball. she is watching a movie.

get out! get out! get out!

if i could have a second skin

do you think she is listening to Dress Up In You while she is doing this to herself?

but the blues are still blue

bike route to the barn ->

32.8 miles bitches.

hey hey tonight is a big barn party. dan's puttin' rowdy in the car, and i'm puttin' myself on a bike, and then we are all meeting up at the barn.
whats the barn?
a place in petaloomer where you can stomp & dance & roll & camp. the beer is brewed right there. its where i rang in the new year, and so far its been a good new year, so i figure i should never miss another party.

yo yo belle & sebastian the life pursuit ain't to bad if yah ask me.