i soaked in a bath with bath salts last night. last night i soaked with bathsalts in a bath.
i woke up around oh, 5am and felt NO PAIN!

my joints didn't creak. my back felt light.

if this is what it is like to soak in a bath filled with bathsalts.

then i'm going to soak in a bath filled with bathsalts every night. every night i will soak in a bath filled with bathsalts!

the parts that i think about the most.

ratatouie - the part where the mouse is cuddling and curled up in a ball. reminded me of rowdy.
there will be blood - wow. the shot where its dark, and you only see his red face on the screen is the shot i remember the best. wow. how is face changed.
no country for old men - the begining when lewelyn is walking around and you hear the ground crunch beneath his feet. that was my favorite part. hearing him breathe out in the open. and look at things through binocs.
27 dresses - the elton john bennie and jets part. of course the part where he says he cried like a baby at the fallon wedding. i started crying.
into the wild - the ocean scene. my god the ocean scene. and the bit where he screams.
persopolis - the iron maiden part. it was a great picture of youth.
juno - seeing the mom at the mall looking at children. seeing the mom feel juno's belly. seeing the mom get her baby.
the bucket list - seeing the 2 characters get depressed in the hospital together.
charlie wilsons war - the beginning part with all the coke.

bucket list (as of right now, obvs.)

in no order to speak of.

2. paint an oil painting
3. learn to sail
13. have a fruit bearing tree in my yard
14. learn the argentine tango.
growing long hair, or not cutting your hair, is such a display of patience and proposed femininity.

it must be even moreso as a man growing long hair. or maybe the feminine part is replaced by a "societal" part. when it comes to men growing long hair.

as hair gets longer - the time it took to grow the hair - makes you into something. something made up? something supposedly stronger and wiser - even if in the vain sense. you are stronger vain. you are wiser vain.

it is definitely not lazy. its not a product of lazy.
music video idea:
sideways silhouette of me lip-syncing The National. This would be done in front of a white sheet.

2007 question thingy.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?

went to chicago.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

i didn't and will not make any resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

nope. unless you count flickr - in which case 8 of the coolest flickr contacts gave birth.

4. Did anyone close to you die?


5. What countries did you visit?

the cold midwest.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

a real relationship.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
hmmm. i guess feb. 14th, because the knit shop closed.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

paying off 2 debts.

9. What was your biggest failure?

getting sloppy.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
i learned i have asthma.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

new dresses. makeup. nailpolish.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

my parents.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

my boss.

14. Where did most of your money go?
student loans.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
trivia nights at the mayflower.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?

karen by the national

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
 a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer?

happier, fatter, richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

going out. being social.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

going to target.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

very very ill. on the couch.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?

only lust. but it sure felt like love. ;)

22. What was your favorite TV program?

the hills.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
hate is a strong word.

24. What was the best book you read?

this mapping of the creative brain book.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
the national. and elliott smith towards the end of the year.

26. What did you want and get?


27. What did you want and not get?
a trim waistline. ;)

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

into the wild.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

had dinner at las camillias. 30.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

being able to pay off loans.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

this year i really developed my own personal style. i wore dresses and short heels on the weekends. i wore scarves. and in the summer i wore an old fedora. i also splurged on cool sunglasses to bring the look together. also, it was a pleasure matching nail polishes. i loved my swimsuit.

32. What kept you sane?

the pool.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

they are kind of anti celebs - anna calderon.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?


35. Who did you miss?

my new york friends.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

dan & audrey.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.

slow down. take your time.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
underline everything, i'm a professional, in my beloved white. shirt.


i finally remembered to google the guy who stands outside the today show EVERY day.

so thats cool. i've always wondered what his job is. he is retired.

the today show keeps him sane. starts his day. helps him feel connected. they are his family.

while unemployed......... i kind of feel the same way about the today show folk.


i watched no country for old men today. i really can't take stressful movies - like killer movies, etc. but it was worth it for the cinematography. the beautiful tan-toned scenes were something to get excited about. they made me (as the coen brothers always do) want to be more creative. to take muted, worthy, "life" shots. that is the best i can explain.

second movie i watched was the black & white cartoon persopolis. it was so great in the moving way of "gut life" feelings. but the ending??????????? dunno. left me thinking i should have only paid matinee price. dang you!

well thats my take. good night.

the rules of unemployment

1. no weight gain. not even an ounce.

2. no soap operas

3. apply to at least 1, job per week day.

4. when your dog wants to cuddle, put down the laptop and cuddle.

5. ride your bike or go for a jog at least once a day.

6. join a community group that is free, and will benefit the mind.

7. volunteer.

8. go to matinee shows.

9. keep a clean house.

10. learn a musical instrument.


its almost like being in the middle of a real crisis. i mean bloodshed, life, etc. is better than simply being boring. limbo. unwanted. not needed.

why. because the crisis is the crisis. bills stop. survival starts. all you think about is how to survive. and then you do survive. or you do die.

limbo. boredom. things not working. bills still due. houses still to heat. these boring things. the mundacity of life. the things that become reality when you can't heat them. or start them. or feed them. start to hurt more than if you are worried you might step on a landmine.

but i have no idea what i am talking about.

at least i'm not sick in bed. but then again - see, if i was sick in bed i wouldn't be thinking about the boring. the lame. the not needed. i'd simply be focused on surviving.

which sometimes, is a lot more interesting than focusing on how to pay for the electric bill. or the new starter coil.
one of my photos is being discussed in greece/greek.

love the new flickr photostats. thanks flickr.
as i type from my sick bed i look up our horoscopes.

The Gemini personality may prove to be to restless for the Taurean nature. The two signs are emotionally at odds. the mercurian outlook on intimate matters does not sit well with the son or daughter of Venus. the Gemini loves a variety of thought, and delights in all mental pursuits, while the Taurean is mostly interested in the material things of life. The great sex drive of the Taurean could overpower the more docile Gemini.

seems as tho we are not the perfect of matches. i find myself wishing you were born in july - or maybe january, as i've been with capicorns and cancers and had a good time. the capicorn was an animal. and the cancer was too an animal in a punk way. in a zest for life way. but he was typical cancer - and very moody.
the capicorn didn't stay long enough for me to figure him out really. he did tell me his birthday is new years day. so thats cool.

so in the stars it looks like we are doomed.
in the roomed is looks like we are stars.
there is a general misunderstanding. i could see us fighting vesuvius fights. but i can also see us being sweet to each other at 73. you would be 70. i imagined holding your nice hand during the movie today.

do horoscopes apply to dogs too?
i really don't understand why i am getting sick all the time lately? i've started documenting the sick times on my calendar. "scratchy throat" on one day "bedridden" in another.
i mean, my head feels like it is in a straightjacket of pain. its locked filled with snot.
surprisingly the only thing that is soothing is playing blackbird on the guitar.
i spent an hour and a half tonight playing blackbird on the guitar, just to give my poor sniffling nose a break.


someone came to our office the other day to give the lowdown on digital frames. did you know that bill gates has his art collection shown on huge flatscreens around his house??

whats the point?? d said the point was that he could then have the art sent to this place and that place and not "miss" it.

whats the point.

that really annoys me. is it true??
oh shit i never texted back whats his name. and whats his other name never texted me back. and then there's the name thats right in front of my face. because he dumped whats her name and now he's right in front of my face.
luckily whats her other name called me back and now we can be names and know names.
and the other other whats her name has issues with the name in front of my face so i don't really mention him much to whats her other other name.
ran into blood today. the blood is moving to oregon next week. going to san francisco to buy his one way ticket for the train.
you stopping by the family farm?
sure. its about a half hours time from where i will land.

killing time. won't stop. this crime. killing tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime. won't stop. this crime. killing time........................ wont stop. this crime.

yep. still on elliott smith. but this time, its roman candle. just do yourself a favor and play the whole damn album 1nce a night before you go to bed. and then wake up and play it silently while strumming your air guitar. when you wake up. the whole damn thing. what is a roman candle?

so anyway, back to blood.
he was eating his vegan bites.
and talking about juicing mights.
going to live with a friend from school.
who's dad is dying. of cancer.
going to cleanse the dad and
get this
"cook" raw vegan food.
but........... raw food isn't cooked?
mr. practical and i stay quiet. bite our modest, tall lips. and sit next to each other. oh fuck thats another whole topic in and of itself.
so anyway. blood says he's gonna save the world with juice. raw juice. gonna slip the cost of a juice machine i tell yah.
so uh,,,,,,, you are just going to stay with them?
yeah. they own a tanning salon.
biting lips. knocking knees.

so whatdowegot?
former longhorns fan - i'm talking only bought longhorns shirts and hats and carried the longhorns flag around with him for good luck - goes vegan.
former cooking school guy - i'm talking fifty grand loan chef friends working in manhattan starter job was top 3 in san fran - goes raw.
raw vegan kid goes to oregon. makes sense.
to help a guy diagnosed with cancer. who owns a tanning salon.
you copy?

killing timmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmme. won't stoppppppppppppppppppp this crime.

new blog

yet another new blog. my permanent blog-o is here.