no but yes.

really its only for the first 30 seconds.


tonight at the zeitgeist was nothing like fred & ginger.
tonight at the pizza place was nothing like astair & rodgers.

although i loved the hostess' style. fedora, scarf, purple tight pants w/ black t.
didn't catch the shoes.

today on my bike ride through lucas valley,
i biked over blood.
the blood of a motor cycle driver
who died on sunday night.

its been one of those stories that i can't shake, simply because it hit close to home. i have to write it out.

i biked over it monday too. but on monday i simply thought "oh, there are flares in the road. must have been some construction last night."
on monday there were no flowers.
on thursday there was an RIP.
and a bag of flowers.

he was 22.

i biked over "R glove" spray-painted in orange about 20 feet away from the pavement blood.
as i realized what my tires just touched. played the scene through my head. wheels kept turning, etc. i crossed myself like a fool. head heart right left. and screamed out loud for him.

AHHHHHHHHH. SORRY! I AM SORRY!

i wasn't saying sorry for biking over his blood. i was saying sorry for any pain he might have felt. saying sorry for his mistake in crossing over the yellow line. saying sorry for being so young. just saying sorry in a general way. that i am alive, and he is not.

i dunno. its been interesting. these bike rides. when i bike in unpopulated placed - ie: backroads, country settings, remote hills - it is more dangerous than biking on the freeways, neighborhoods, bridges.
people let loose in the backroads. people drive faster. turn up the music. take the curves like a volkswagen commercial.
so i bike with one headphone in. the other out. the other ear on the road. what is behind me. what is below. what is ahead.

No comments: