hellodeer

this hitchcock was quite possibly in the top 5 for me. i loved the relationship. i did have a problem with julie andrews in the roll, but it really wasn't that big of a problem.

favorite scene - green room - position of bodies - looked like a sketch.

favorite sound scene - being followed in the museum scene.

marnie

after asking marnie to the horse tracks:
marnie: do you like horses?
sean connery: not at all.

fashionable weekend paris edition

Friday - work is hosting a Bach event that goes into the evening.

Saturday morning coffee & stop by Canal to pick up bag of oranges from your guy Francisco.

Kyuss reunion at the Independent.

Watering flowers, making french toast Sunday AM.

Farmers Market @ Civic Center

Salon to get hair & nails done for Oscar Party.

Oscar Night @ the Rafael

Monday Morning - back to the grind.

Car in The Birds

well in my quest to watch every hitchcock in sequential order, i am finally at THE BIRDS. comment? awesome! gory! cool car! i love tippy hedron's lips! tippy hedron kind of looks like paris hilton, no?

the car melanie* drives is an Aston Martin DB2 - drop head coupe. The car was unfortunately TOTALLED, so no longer exists i guess. what a shame.

*tippy hedron plays melanie. tippy hedron is melanie griffiths mother. interesting fact, no?

new continuing dream

i'm pretty sure this is the 2nd time i've had this dream.

i'm hanging out with trailer trash friends. we are all drinking. someone in the group dies - i happen to be there. there is a guy and a girl and they both decide to hide the body in a closet in the house where we are partying. the house belongs to an old boss of mine who harbors ill-will towards me.

this happens a second time, but this time they take the body to the water and bury it at sea - with no one knowing.

one day, i was hanging out at the house, and look up, and see the first body, still rotting in the closet. i feel all of this horror and guilt, and try to get the people back to the house to remove the first body. i wake up before the dream is resolved.

this dream could mean a lot of different things. the main part of it being the same thing that my other re-occuring dream meant - hiding something. i wonder what i am hiding tho? last weekend i told my 2 deepest darkest secrets to mia, and i'm fine with them. i don't harbor them as evil anymore. so i wonder what this is all about.

personal goals

i've decided i want to be a cross of khloe kardashian, and maggie gyllenhaal.

tinyvices.com

fave pics of the moment from tinyvices.com

happy to be march

i'm a little bit happy and relieved that february is over. the month started with a down, but ended quite splendidly.

what i learned in february:

-i am a non-smoker
-la is not where i should be living right now.
-1 bedroom apartments are within my reach.
-a lot about taxes
-hitchcock was a romantic
-if you stop going to the gym, the fat comes back.
-heartbreaks fade.
-tattoo hearts are fun
-ecstacy is overrated
-i am not that into strangers with candy, or animal collective
-facebook is annoying me
-women rule the world
-undereye makeup & primer can do a lot for a complexion.
-i have urban style

fall 2010 favorites pt. 2 or My Weekend with YOU

friday night - dinner at boy's house - quick trip out to the store to get some more cab.

Saturday morning, skinny jeans, 2shot cappuccino - wet, whole milk.

Sat. night tickets - Beethoven's Eroica. You comment that this is what was playing on Norman Bates' record player in Psycho.

Sunday late afternoon brunch at Anchor & Hope - all you can eat oysters.

back to work Monday Morning.

monday night, contacts out, glasses on, catching up on the reading that you missed over the weekend.

*all images Catwalk/Getty Images

angora

can we just look at bunny pictures today? who knew angora rabbits were so CUTE?

on missing the last 10 spin classes:

just get back on the bike and fuck 'em all.

tuesdaydream

i had a dream that i was helping liz pick out her outfits, because she looked terrible in all the paparazzi shots of her in 2009.
and i also got a 98 dollar ticket for jumping lanes in front of a police man, while i was driving the miata.
apparently it was my 2nd ticket, and i started getting really stressed out about money, and upset that all of my extra cash had to go towards extra mistakes.

to i guess i need to be a little careful when i'm driving around over the next few months, while i am finishing the final payments on one of my loans.

paying off loans is a bummer. but its funny how quickly we forget about them once the payment is gone.

thevalley

i spent my weekend in the valley of los angeles.

weed urine organize
exstacy vomit cigarette
red heart tattoo
viper kyuss metal
venice sand waiting

silence on the other end
silence on the other end
silence on the other end

clean clean clean
sit lay roll
roll lay sit

grip head pain
toilet spit sleep
love joy heart

let me do your eyes like that one movie star
clara bow?
yeah. lets do your eyes like clara bow.
sit. brush. soft. breathe.

whoa. that looks vampy & piercing.

stop stop stop
forever forever forever

it'd be almost too perfect

someone should really wear this marchesa to the oscars.

***update! the oscar winner wore this dress. three cheers to sandra bullock for wearing the perfect dress.

fall 2010 favorites so far

its true

i'm always messing up.

i'm constantly making an ass out of myself.

haircut

2dreams

whoa whoa whoaaaaaaaaaaa. i just remembered my dream.

anderson cooper was hanging out with me. wha? well not really. he was just around. and i was talking about this guy who was hot, a news anchor.

wait a sec. i had incredible dreams last night.

there was this guy that had been jailed for a very long time for breaking an entering at a cathedral. he finally escaped. at this point in his life he had wasted into slimy troll - but had the stamina to climb stairs?

so he escapes back into the cathedral and tries to climb to the top. he makes it past the guards and is still climbing climbing climbing. i woke up when he was at a section of the cathedral devoted to modern-day successful people.

anyway. anderson cooper was hanging, and i was talking to this 8 year old telling her about how hot this certain news anchor was, and that he also had a really hot mother. anderson just kind of looked at me.

and then we all sat down on the couch together, and watched the news.

wokework

i woke up this morning 100% happy about my little life & job & love. i woke up feeling like everything is in its right place, right now.

things dont work out - for a right place.
things work out - for a right place.
its all the right place.

this is going to lead to something else that leads to something else.

it all clearly made sense to me. it felt small, and special, and fun.

and then the moment passed, and i got in line to take a shower.

laying

thinking about valentines day. and thinking about things you talk about when you are laying in bed with someone.

this sort of hits home right now.

rearwindow

last night was rear window. loved a comment someone made in the special features about identity. he said jb grabbed for his camera flash as a means to protect himself. the only way he knew how. with his identity. that ended up only delaying the inevitable.

scorpio

i had a dream the other night that there was a scorpion on my bed.

dial m

loved the opening scene in dial m for murder. i'm finally getting to the more popular hitchcocks. so anyway, loved the opening scene, and loved the guilty color sequence.

change in plans

why am i completely OK with running away as fast as i can?

i don't want anything with this person.

its proximity. thats all it is. a weekend without will do me good.

oh look at that blueberry scone

do you mind if i sleep here?
i like your company

sleep
hand rest hip
head rest shoulder
feet rest feet
breathe listen
listen breathe
big breath!
tiny breath.
face nose face
knee thigh knee
breathe listen breathe
smile cheeks hurt

hours pass

hours pass

coffee vanilla
almond blueberry
crumbs drops
papers music
walk drive bike
air wind hair

we ooze modesty.

stage fright - hitchcock

"every time i'm beginning to think i know what color your eyes are, you disappear."

new mix

a cute boy made me a mix. yippee. its been fun and weird and sweet and kind and akward and quiet and simple and complex.

anyway, track one is:

And you are no longer a river to me
And you are no longer a river to me
Though your coursing remain eager to acquaint me
And you are no longer a docile stream
And you are no longer a docile stream
Though your patience proves you into ease

And once this spark met kindling
Forgets its gentle ambling
Becoming heat, becoming steam
Becoming luminescent glee
Atoms splinter, sparkling
Alive and nimble symmetry
And all along, this glistening
Blankets we and everything
Shadows dance triumphantly
A wordless whisper sighs and pleas
Little deaths envelope thee
You and I and a flame make three
You and I and a flame make three
You and I and a flame make three

And you are not glassy bay to me
And you are not glassy bay to me
Though my tired fleet abides in your gentle breeze
And you are now vast and open sea
And my mind travels you endlessly
And you beckon, toss and toss and swallow me

And once this spark met kindling
Forgets its gentle ambling
Becoming heat, becoming steam
Becoming luminescent glee
Atoms splinter, sparkling
Alive and nimble symmetry
And all along, this glistening
Blankets we and everything
Shadows dance triumphantly
A wordless whisper sighs and pleas
Little deaths envelope thee
You and I and a flame makes three

under capicorn

me & ingrid bergman all holed up and sick in bed.

another hitchcock movie with ingrid bergman all holed up in her bed, getting poisoned by a jealous woman.

LOL.

two weeks - grizzly bear

Save up all the days
A routine malaise
Just like yesterday
I told you I would stay

Would you always
Maybe sometimes
Make it easy
Take your time

Think of all the ways
Momentary phase
Just like yesterday
I told you I would stay

Every time you try
Quarter half the mile
Just like yesterday
I told you I would stay

Would you always
Maybe sometimes
Make it easy
Take your time

so many colors that surround you.

stay forever by ween

In the morning sun, I couldn't tell you
I couldn't tell you so many things
About how much I really love you
About how much you really mean

So far away, but it's so easy to see you
When I'm away I want to put my arms around you
And I want to know, do you feel the same way?
'Cause if you do I want to stay forever
And I want to know, do you feel the same way?
'Cause if you do I want to stay forever
With you

So many colors that surround you
Some so bright I can hardly see
A light reflects on all the things that make you real
Things that make you truly free

So far away, but it's so easy to see you
When I'm away I want to put my arms around you
And I want to know, do you feel the same way?
'Cause if you do I want to stay forever
And I want to know, do you feel the same way?
'Cause if you do I want to stay forever
With you

notorius 1946

i'm up to notorious. hitchcock keeps getting better!

what a scene-

ready able. love it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Puph1hejMQE

I’m gonna take a stab at this
Surely we’ll be alright
Make a decision with a kiss
Maybe I have frostbite
And when I shuffled on back home
I made sure all my tracks in the snow were gone
Tissue and bone it was a tryst
This isn’t a gunfight
Checking it off of my list
Unable to write
Five years, countless months and a loan

Hope I’m ready, able to make my own, good home

They go we go, I want you to know, what I did I did,
They go we go, I want you to know, what I did I did.

They go we go, I want you to know, what I did I did,
They go we go, I want you to know, what I did I did.

::vocalizing::

They go we go, I want you to know, what I did I did,
They go we go, I want you to know, what I did I did.

brandyhitchcock

they drink brandy in practically every alfred hitchcock movie.

i'm in my room writing.

yes. thats the difference between me and you.

you know when you watch 4 movies in one weekend, and you remember a scene, but you can't place it to the movie?

she poors alcohol into a potted plant.
was that crazy heart? no.
was that an education? no.
oh yeah, it was breakfast at tiffany's.

i realized, after watching breakfast at tiffany's years later, that i know a lot of girls that think or thought they were holly golightly. while i was watching the movie i was like "oh yeah, thats that girl. oh yeah, that friend. no wait, maybe she is a better match for her." blah blah.

waking

i dozed off today and woke up to this - it was so dreamy.

happy 2010 !!!

happy 2010 !!! , originally uploaded by hellodeer.

This year has been very fun.

places I visited during 2009

1. Mendicino Coast
2. Los Angeles
3. Aruba
4. Jamaica
5. Miami
6. Minneapolis & Rochester, Minnesota

That wraps up another year of minor travel.

Music of 2009

During 2009 I enjoyed the following bands:

1. kanye
2. dr. dre - chronic
3. ween
4. black eyed peas
5. notorious b.i.g.
6. bon iver
7. anthony & the johnsons
8. beck
9. julian velard
10. mgmt
11. vampire weekend
12. ben folds
13. michael jackson

my comment on the economy

i know things are not getting better because when i go to salvation army every friday, it takes me 10 minutes to find parking.

at a salvation army in marin county, people. i mean seriously.

3's

i said to much to one.
i didn't say enough to another.
i ain't said shit to the third.

none of them are even in. but they are around.

the peripheral.

and now all of them are doing nothing.

i'd like to get rid of all of them and get hit in the face by a fourth.

3 cheers for this excerpt.

advertising for love

fun website.

winter always seems so much slower than summer.

i like that.

for me,

ben folds is christmas music

the grass

is not greener on the other side, its just different.

i cried twice at the movie UP

thanksgiving

turkey bird morning
google wings pumpkin
spilling mess sponge
oven bed lounge

peets miata music
cleaning dressing dancing
drinking smoking drinking
eat knosh nibble

nibble knosh eat
drink smoke smile
watch lounge nibble

talk plan scope
eat nosh nibble
scoop slice dollop

carphotographer

carphotographer, originally uploaded by hellodeer.

i am a car photographer. i take pictures of cars.

vertigo

last night i changed my room around, and to celebrate, watched vertigo for the first time.

it was so nice, that i decided to spend the winter in my room, watching alfred hitchcock movies in the order in which they were made.

it didn't make any sense that scotty would fall in love with madeline/judy.

this is a cool site that helped break it down for me.

color symbolism in vertigo

i connected most with the midge character. i like midge. and i like that name.

love game

its funny how the beginning of the love game is all about restraint. well, at least when you are playing games. i'm trying to open myself and make it more about just love. instead of the game.

the game makes it fun. the game makes it fun? well, the game makes it prolonged. which is nice. but how long is prolonged? i'm over the game. i'm ready to dive in and just love already.

snapped

he kind of snapped at me today. he told me something that he doesnt remember telling me, and i brought it up, and now i have him asking me "did i tell you that?"

it makes me feel this big. ()

and it also makes me totally not want to be around him. which is actually a good thing, because...... apparently he is a douchey non-remembering drunk.

and there you have it.

"be here now" type shit

its all about the "be here now" type shit.

i find myself saying that a lot.

you are typing

you are reading

you are eating a burrito

you are burning cds

you are there. and there. and there. and here.

you are now.

breathe in. breathe out a couple beats longer than the in.

breathe out. and out and out until you can no longer breathe out!!! whew. ok. breathe in.

be here now type shit.

this in that. that in this

today? very productive.

i've had a few ideas just floating around in my head. i sleep on them, i spin on them, i eat on them, i zone out on them.

finally i wrote them down!

so they are not in full process.

main goal for the next year? TO BE PUBLISHED.

i will be published. photographically speaking, of course.

second main ongoing goal? TO HAVE A GALLERY SHOW.

i will have a gallery show. photographically speaking, of course.

other than that, i've been filling my time with burning all of my music onto my hard drive.

sounds hot?

it is really hot.

im looking for a hot dorky hermit, that has life experience, but little to no relationship experience.

mtg

a 10yr old kid walked by me at work, carrying a plate of cookies.

where are you going with those cookies?

to the meeting downstairs about how to deal with my feelings of hate.

oh. ok.

flickr iraq

very very interesting to follow -
iraq set

by drink

it finally happened.

they know me by drink at starbucks.

look forward to

he went silent.

its ok its ok its ok. its just one of those things!

new haircut - short bob
i'm getting more side-jobs.
spin class rocks
my dog is now ten.
dot. the drop-top baby.

i've been thinking about this hippie lately. inbetween boughts of thinking about the dude of course.